


Bottoms group chat

by Yaoiwriteronly



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Akaashi Keiji Is So Done, Aliens Made Them Do It, Angst and Feels, Bottom Hanamaki Takahiro, Bottom Hinata Shouyou, Bottom Hoshiumi rights, Bottom Kozume Kenma, Bottom Miya Atsumu, Bottom Nishinoya Yuu, Bottom Oikawa Tooru, Bottom Shirabu Kenjirou, Bottom Tendou Satori, Bottom Yaku Morisuke, Bottom Yamaguchi Tadashi, Boys In Love, Chatting & Messaging, Crying Goshiki Tsutomu, Fluff and Humor, Hanamaki Takahiro is a Little Shit, Hinata Shouyou is Sunshine, I Blame Tumblr, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I done screwed with their ages, Kunimi Akira is a Little Shit, M/M, Memes, Minor Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi, Mutual Pining, Oikawa is queen no cap, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pining Akaashi Keiji, Pining Hinata Shouyou, Pining Kozume Kenma, Pining Miya Atsumu, Pining Oikawa Tooru, Pining Shirabu Kenjirou, Pining Tendou Satori, Please Kill Me, Rare Pairings, Rare Relationships, Shirabu Kenjirou Swears, Shirabu Kenjirou is a Little Shit, Suna Rintarou-centric, Suna is always high, Team Mom Yaku Morisuke, They're All 3rd Years, Top Semi Eita, Top Tsukishima Kei, What Have I Done, Yamaguchi Tadashi is a Little Shit, change my mind, who noticed?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-01
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:00:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 21,873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28016616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yaoiwriteronly/pseuds/Yaoiwriteronly
Summary: Oikawa adds a bunch of pining bottoms to a group chat, naturally it's chaos.(Aka a chat created to simp over their crushes who already have girlfriends)Hoshiumi: I HAVE NO FEARHinata: Straight SachirouHoshiumi: I HAVE ONE FEARHanamaki: Okay but isn't he actually straight?? We're all in this chat for that reason.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Azumane Asahi/Nishinoya Yuu, Daishou Suguru/Terushima Yuuji, Goshiki Tsutomu/Koganegawa Kanji, Haiba Lev/Yaku Morisuke, Hanamaki Takahiro/Matsukawa Issei, Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Hirugami Sachirou/Hoshiumi Kourai, Iizuna Tsukasa/Komori Motoya, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Kindaichi Yuutarou/Kunimi Akira, Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou, Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi, Miya Osamu/Suna Rintarou, Other Relationship Tags to Be Added, Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi, Semi Eita/Shirabu Kenjirou, Tendou Satori/Ushijima Wakatoshi, Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Comments: 346
Kudos: 1692
Collections: Chatfics I simp for, Haikyuu!!





	1. Welcome to hell

**Author's Note:**

> Why? Why do I do this to myself? Welcome to chapter 1 of this hell! We have cookie, lemonade, and a bunch of idiots in love! I hope you enjoy your stay!

Oikawa Tooru added: Shirabu Kenjirou, Akaashi Keiji, Kozume Kenma, Miya Atsumu, Suna Rintarou, Tendou Satori, Yaku Morisuke, Hinata Shouyou, Hanamaki Takahiro, Nishinoya Yuu, Kunimi Akira, Goshiki Tsutomu and Hoshiumi Kourai to a group chat 

Oikawa Tooru set the group chat name to Beautiful bottoms who are in love with our best friends but can't make a move because they all have lovers 😭  
4:15 PM 

Shirabu: What the fuck? 

Oikawa: Fuck the what? 

Hoshiumi: SHOUYOU!! 🧡

Hinata: HOSHIUMI!! 💙

Goshiki: Tendou-san I'm scared 

Tendou: Hello scared I'm Tendou 😂😂

Oikawa: Tendou. 

Tendou: Oikawa. 

Oikawa: I MISS YOUR PRETTY ASS 

Tendou: I MISS YOUR PRETTIER ASS MORE ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Kenma: This chat name is giving me depression. 

Akaashi: Me too. 

Atsumu: OIKAWA BB IT'S BEEN SO LONG 💖💖

Oikawa: 'Tsumu!! ❤️❤️

Suna: I woke up to this. Why must I suffer every day? 

Kenma: It's 4 PM though?? 

Suna: Yeah. 

Kenma: ...I think I like you. 

Akaashi: Welcome to the group Suna. Sleep is non-existent and depression is for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. 

Suna: Finally. A place where I belong. 

Yaku: Everyone please get some sleep! 

Kunimi: No

Yaku: Excuse me? 

Oikawa: Kunimi my son! 

Kunimi: Hmm. Where's dad? 

Oikawa: Off with his side hoe 😀

Hanamaki: You mean his girlfriend? 

Oikawa: I said what I said. 

Hanamaki: ....Same. I wish Mattsun would open his stupid beautiful eyes and just kiss me already 

Nishinoya: Same. 

Hanamaki: You want Mattsun to kiss you too? 

Nishinoya: No! I want my Asahi to dump his gf and shove his tongue down my throat! 

Shirabu: Disgusting. 

Oikawa: Don't act like you don't want Semi to shove you against a wall and fuck you unconscious 😒

Shirabu: I-! You-! SHUT THE FUCK UP 

Atsumu: Okay so who likes who here? 

Atsumu: I'm in love with my Omi-Omi 🖤🖤🖤

Oikawa: IWA-CHAN 😍

Shirabu: ...That idiot Semi. 

Akaashi: Bokuto-san. 

Kenma: Kuro. 

Suna: Osamu. 

Atsumu: Gross 🤢🤮

Suna: Shut up you fugly. 

Atsumu: ME AND 'SAMU HAVE THE SAME FACE!!

Suna: He wears it better. 

Atsumu: How?!?!? 

Tendou: I'm in L O V E with my baby Ushi 💖💓

Yaku: Lev. That dumbass. 

Hinata: Bakageyama!! Gaaaah he makes me so mad with his stupid cute face 😡😡

Hanamaki: My meme king Matsukawa 😍😍

Nishinoya: My huge, adorable, amazing Asahi! 

Kunimi: Kindaichi. 

Goshiki: Koganegawa!! ☺️

Hoshiumi: Sachirou although he's a big dummy 🙄

Oikawa: And all of them have girlfriends 😃

Tendou: I wanna cut a bitch 😔

Atsumu: Omi-kun's just out there ignoring my love and affection 😭

Kenma: ...These 3 are chaos. I can already tell this chat is going to give me a headache. 

Akaashi: We can leave now and never speak of this again? 

Suna: I'm just going to mute it anyways lol 

Kenma left the group chat

Akaashi left the group chat 

Oikawa added: Kozume Kenma and Akaashi Keiji to the group chat 

Oikawa: No one can leave. 

Oikawa: Ever. 

Hinata: 😧

Hanamaki: Oinks is a lil scary today 

Hanamaki: Calm down Jamal, don't pull out the 9 

Kunimi: I hate it here. 

Shirabu: Me too. 

Suna: Mute gang. 

Kenma: Mute gang. 

Akaashi: Mute gang. 

Kunimi: Mute gang. 

Shirabu: Mute gang. 

Tendou: Lameeeeee. You'll regret that when you have no where else to rant about your crush 🙄🙄

Nishinoya changed their name to Noya 

Noya: I don't want to hold what I'm feeling in anymore. It's nice to have a place to rant! 

Goshiki: Yeah. Kogane-san will never notice me anyways. It's hard loving someone from a different school. 😔

Hoshiumi: I don't know which is worse. Loving your best friend and seeing them happy with someone else or never seeing them and knowing they're with someone...

Kenma: Loving your best friend. 

Akaashi: Loving your best friend. 

Oikawa: Loving your best friend. 

Atsumu: Loving someone from a different school 💔

Goshiki: Even if he's not mine, I still want to see him! Texting isn't enough 💔

Suna: Idk. I just want to go back to sleep. See you guys later I guess. 

Oikawa: Bye ☺️

\--------------------  
Beautiful bottoms who are in love with our best friends but can't make a move because they all have lovers 😭  
7:42 PM

Kenma: AGHHHH I HATE HER SO MUCH 😠🔪

Kenma: WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY DID THEY INVITE ME ALONG!!!!! 

Kenma: JEVEIBWLUDBRLQ

Oikawa: That keyboard smash is so ugly 😕

Tendou: What's wrong bb? 

Kenma: Kuro and his stupid gf were going on a date 

Kenma: AND DECIDED IT WOULD BE A GREAT IDEA TO INVITE ME!? 

Kenma: SO I HAVE TO SIT HERE AND WATCH THEM MAKE OUT AND WHISPER IN EACH OTHER'S EARS AND GIGGLE AND THAT SHOULD BE ME

Kenma: I SHOULD BE THE ONE SITTING ON HIS LAP 

Kenma: ...Why doesn't he love me? 

Oikawa: Oh my baby! You should just leave! 💔💔

Kenma: Yeah but I don't...want to? It's like...he's smiling so much and laughing and he looks so happy 

Kenma: It's beautiful

Kenma: My favorite thing in the world is Kuro's smile. Even if it isn't for me 

Akaashi: Say that you need to go home and come over to my house. We'll eat ice cream and make fun of horrible movies until we fall asleep. 

Kenma: ... Okay. Can you pull out the fluffy blankets? 

Akaashi: Of course. 

Kenma: I'm omw. 

Oikawa: Text us if you need anything alright! We're in the same boat so we'll understand ❤️❤️

Kenma: Yeah. See you guys later. 

\------------------------  
Beautiful bottoms who are in love with our best friends but can't make a move because they all have lovers 😭  
3:02 AM 

Hoshiumi: I HAVE NO FEAR 

Hinata: Straight Sachirou

Hoshiumi: I HAVE ONE FEAR 

Hanamaki: Okay but isn't he actually straight?? We're all in this chat for that reason. 

Yaku: Okay but why are you all awake at 3 in the morning?? 

Noya: I've been watching tik tok 

Noya: Idk last I checked it was 8ish?? 

Kenma: I've been gaming with Akaashi

Suna: I slept all day. Now I'm up and going for a jog

Shirabu: I'm jogging too. 

Atsumu: At 3 in the morning?? It's freezing out there! 

Suna: It's the best time to jog actually. 

Shirabu: Yeah. No people to get in the way or children to kick. 

Suna: Kinda wish there were children around to kick though. 

Kunimi: You 2 scare me. I'm awake because my anxiety is acting up and won't let me sleep 🙃

Oikawa: ... Since we're all up... 

Oikawa: Everyone put up 5 fingers! 

Oikawa: 🖐️

Shirabu: Whatever. 🖐️

Akaashi: 🖐️

Kenma: 🖐️

Atsumu: 🖐️

Suna: 🖐️

Tendou: 🖐️

Yaku: 🖐️

Hinata: 🖐️

Hanamaki: 🖐️

Noya: 🖐️

Kunimi: 🖐️

Goshiki: 🖐️

Hoshiumi: 🖐️

Oikawa: Damn that's a lot of people

Oikawa: Okay put a finger down if you've had sex! 

Hinata: ...

Shirabu: ...

Tendou: ...

Atsumu: ...

Hoshiumi: ...

Oikawa: No one? 

Kenma: I want to save that for...Kuro. 

Akaashi: Bokuto-san. 

Oikawa: ...Next question, Shirabu go! 

Shirabu: ...Put a finger down if you own alien socks. 

Oikawa: ...I- Was that targeted??? 

Tendou: 👀

Oikawa: Ugh 

Oikawa: 🖐️ -1

Atsumu: LMAOOOO 

Yaku: Why am I not surprised?

Hanamaki: That's pretty lame. 

Kunimi: I can't believe you're my captain. 

Oikawa: STOP BULLYING ME 

Oikawa: AND IN MY OWN HOME NO LESS 

Noya: Yeah, yeah Akaashi you're next! 

Akaashi: Put a finger down if you've walked into a storage room to grab something and your crush and his girlfriend are making out 

Akaashi: 🖐️ -1 

Oikawa 🤟

Shirabu: 🖐️ -1

Hoshiumi: 🖐️ -1

Kunimi: 🖐️ -1

Hanamaki: 🖐️ -1

Hinata: 🖐️ -1

Yaku: 🖐️ -1

Tendou: 🖐️ -1

Suna: 🖐️ -1 

Kenma: 🖐️ -1 

Goshiki: I don't go to his school 😔

Atsumu: Same with me 😔

Noya: Asahi's too pure to make out with her in the storage 

Hinata: Okay...next one. Go Kenma. 

Kenma: Do I have too? 

Oikawa: Yes 🙃

Kenma: Ugh. Put a finger down if you've ever dyed your hair 

Kenma: 🤟

Oikawa: ....Boooooring ʕಠ_ಠʔ

Atsumu: 🖐️ -1

Noya: 🖐️ -1 

Tendou: ....🤟

Oikawa: Wait what? 

Oikawa: WHEN??? 

Tendou: They team was having a get together and played a game 😔

Tendou: The losers had to dye their hair neon pink 

Tendou: Me and Semi-Semi were never the same again 😭😭😭😭

Shirabu: LMAO I remember that! Semi wouldn't let me take any pics so that sucked. 

Yaku: Who's next? Atsumu you're up. 

Atsumu: Put a finger down if you've ever went to a party, got drunk and made out with an inflatable flamingo 

Atsumu: lololol 🤟

Suna: Excuse me? 

Akaashi: That's weird...

Akaashi: 🤟

Hanamaki: HOLY SHIT NO WAY 😂😂😂😂

Oikawa: (ʘᴗʘ✿)

Tendou: Akaashi and Atsumu are freaks 🤪🤣

Hoshiumi: Why was that so specific??? 

Hinata: Does any inflatable thing count?

Oikawa: Nope he literally only said a flamingo 

Kunimi: Moving on. Suna you're next. 

Suna: ...Put a finger down if you've ever been caught wearing a full body suit in your bathroom because you wanted to try that I'm gay thing

Suna: 🤟

Hanamaki: BWAHAHAHAHAH WHAT 

Atsumu: And you thought mine was weird 

Oikawa: WHY ARE THESE SO SPECIFIC??? 

Hinata: ....🤟

Kenma: Why am I not even surprised? 

Hinata: Let's be honest...that's not the weirdest thing you've ever caught me doing 

Shirabu: You're all freaks. Tendou if you make the next one weird it's on sight 

Tendou: 👁️👄👁️

Tendou: Put a finger down if you're a salty little trash boy with blond hair and crappy bangs and your name just so happens to be Shirabu 😁

Shirabu: FUCK YOU 

Shirabu: MY HAIR IS PERFECT! YOU HAVE NO ROOM TO TALK 

Tendou: Oh?? My hair is perfection, baby. Don't be a salty boy, put a finger down 😁😁

Shirabu: I'm jogging over to your house right now. 

Shirabu: 🤟 😒

Tendou: 😁

Oikawa: ... I'm scared. Someone else go. 

Yaku: Put a finger down if you've ever been surrounded by fan girls 

Oikawa: You hate me don't you? 

Oikawa: Just admit you want me dead and I'll jump 😔

Oikawa: ✌️

Atsumu: ✌️

Akaashi: ✌️

Suna: ✌️

Kenma: Really you too Suna? 

Suna: Yeah I don't know why they keep coming 

Suna: Like what part of me doesn't scream gay? 

Hanamaki: lololol 

Hinata: Put a finger down if you've ever jumped into a pool to show off to your crush and almost drowned because you can't swim 

Hinata: ✌️

Yaku: 🤟

Hanamaki: 🤟

Goshiki: 🤟

Hoshiumi: 🤟

Kenma: You guys are so lame oh God. 

Hanamaki: I did it so Mattsun would jump in and save me 😍

Hanamaki: And got Oikawa instead 😒

Oikawa: I WAS TRYING TO SAVE YOUR LIFE 

Hanamaki: YOU COCK BLOCKED ME!! 

Oikawa: I GUESS I'LL JUST LET YOU DROWNED NEXT TIME 

Hanamaki: Don't threaten me with a good time 

Goshiki: Everyone here is so scary. 

Hanamaki: Whatever. Put a finger down if you've ever had your crush over and you completely make a full of yourself 

Shirabu: UGHHHHH ✌️

Akaashi: ☝️

Kenma: ✌️

Atsumu: ☝️

Suna: ☝️

Tendou: ✌️

Yaku: ✌️

Hinata: ☝️

Noya: 🤟

Goshiki: ✌️

Hoshiumi: ✌️

Akaashi: Wow so many of us are almost out of fingers. 

Atsumu: Oikawa where's your finger I know you're the weirdest around Iwa-chan 

Oikawa: Don't call him that! 

Oikawa: Actually bitch we've been best friends since childhood. There's nothing I can do that Iwa-chan hasn't already seen 😊

Atsumu: Shut up bitch 

Noya: Put a finger down if you've ever almost confessed to your crush, chicken out and covered it up instead 

Noya: ✌️

Kunimi: 🤟

Yaku: ☝️

Tendou: That's so awkward 😬

Hinata: Yeah! I don't even have the guts to confess to Kageyama. He's just so scary 😞

Noya: lololol remember when you spiked a ball into his head? 

Noya: HE WAS SO SCARY 

Hinata: So scary, so scary, so scary!!! 

Kunimi: Put a finger down if you've ever stalked your captain 

Kunimi: ✌️

Oikawa: Kunimi what!?

Shirabu: ☝️

Oikawa: No but actually, what???

Hanamaki: ✌️

Oikawa: What the fuck!? 

Tendou: ☝️

Kenma: ☝️

Goshiki: ☝️

Hinata: Why is everyone stalking their captains? 

Noya: Daichi's too scary to stalk 😬

Oikawa: WHY ARE YOU GUYS STALKING ME!!!??!?!

Kunimi: Secret reasons. 

Hanamaki: Top secret secret reasons 🤫

Oikawa: DO YOU DO THIS OFTEN?!?!

Hanamaki: No

Kunimi: Yes

Hanamaki: You go to the salon more than I expected 

Oikawa: OH MY GOD!

Goshiki: Okay um...put a finger down if you've never been to nationals 

Oikawa: ....

Kunimi: ....

Hanamaki: ....

Tendou: AHAHHAHAHAH THAT'S MY BOY 🤣

Atsumu: THAT'S GOTTA STING 🤣🤣🤣

Noya: HOLY SHIT I WASN'T EXPECTING THAT FROM HIM 😂😂

Hoshiumi: AIBEKOWBDOQBDUDO

Oikawa: SCREW ALL OF YOU 

Oikawa: ☝️

Hanamaki: ☝️

Kunimi: ☝️

Oikawa: THIS IS BULLYING 

Oikawa: WHY AM I BEING TARGETED ALL OF A SUDDEN??? 

Atsumu: Whoever hits 0 first has to buy everyone in the chat something they really want! 

Oikawa: WAIT NO! 

Hoshiumi: Put a finger down if you've ever wrote a smutty fanfiction about you and your crush 

Hoshiumi: ☝️😂

Noya: ☝️

Oikawa: Is that how lonely we all are in this group? 

Noya: Yeah. 

Hoshiumi: Yup. 

Hinata: Sounds about right. 

Akaashi: We're pretty lonely. 

Atsumu: Uh-huh

Tendou: To sum it up, yes. We're lonely AF. 

Oikawa: Oof. Oh it's my turn again! Put a finger down if you've never believed in aliens! 

Akaashi: That's so dirty. 

Akaashi: 0 

Shirabu: FUCK YOU OIKAWA 

Shirabu: 0 

Kenma: 0

Atsumu: 0

Suna: 0

Tendou: 0

Yaku: 0

Hinata: 0

Hanamaki: 0

Noya: 0

Kunimi: 0

Goshiki: 0

Hoshiumi: 0

Kenma: I can't believe he wiped us all out like that

Suna: Impressive how he just pulls shit out of his ass 

Oikawa: Thank you UWU 

Yaku: You're making it hard not to punch you in the face 

Hanamaki: I thought you were bae

Oikawa: Wait! 

Hanamaki: Turns out, you were just fam 😔

Kunimi: I hate that I have to buy something for him now 

Hoshiumi: Oh yeah. Thanks for that Atsumu 😒

Atsumu: I WAS SURE OIKAWA WAS ABOUT TO LOSE 

Shirabu: Fucking idiot.

Tendou: HE'S SO EXPENSIVE TOOOOOOOO 😭

Hinata: I have like...a dollar?? 

Noya: 50 cents 😏

Goshiki: What do you want Oikawa-san? 

Oikawa: I 

Oikawa: WANT

Oikawa: DRUM ROLL PLEASE!! 

Atsumu: Shut up and get on with it 

Tendou: Stop dragging this on. 

Oikawa: BOO 

Oikawa: I WANNA GO TO HAWAII!! 

Akaashi: HOLY SHIT 

Kenma: No way 

Shirabu: NO FUCKING WAY

Atsumu: ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL US

Suna: Man has priorities...

Tendou: Oh God 

Yaku: I'M JUST A HIGH SCHOOLER DAMN IT

Hinata: NOOOOOOO

Hanamaki: I KNEW IT

Noya: FUCK

Kunimi: I don't exist anymore. 

Goshiki: ?? We can afford that 

Hoshiumi: Rich kids things 

Tendou: Well we do go to Shiratorizawa 

Goshiki: Only the wealthy and smart are accepted into the school. 

Shirabu: I'm not part of the wealthy 🙃

Oikawa: HAWAII HERE WE COME!! 

Atsumu: Damn it. 

Akaashi: I guess we can go 

Yaku: My poor bank account 

Oikawa: LETS GOOOOOOOO ᕙ[･･]ᕗ

Tendou: That is so ugly


	2. Daddy 😩

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tops? Feral  
> Bottoms? Scared for their lives  
> Author? Vibing  
> Hotel? Trivago

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My sense of humor is broken 😂😂 Head empty just the bottoms calling their tops daddy 🤤
> 
> Follow me on Twitter @IsHaikyuu for sneak peeks of future chapters/stories I'm writing/ect.
> 
> If you have Discord friend me @Dadchi #2660 I accept literally everyone 😂

Semi and Shirabu  
3:21 PM 

Semi: Where are you? You haven't been to school in like, 2 days?? 

Shirabu: None of your business, dip shit. 

Semi: As your senpai, it is my job to ask where you are if you miss school 

Shirabu: Whatever

Shirabu: ...I'm in America 

Semi: WHAT 

Shirabu: I'm in America. Hawaii to be exact. 

Semi: WHAT THE FUCK KENJIROU!?!? 

Shirabu: DON'T YELL AT ME YOU PIECE OF SHIT IT WASN'T MY IDEA

Shirabu: Fucking Oikawa 

Semi: OIKAWA'S IN AMERICA TOO?! WHAT. THE. ACTUAL. FUCK? 

Shirabu: Yeah. A lot of us are. Goshiki says hi

Semi: GOSHIKI!?!? 

Semi: SHIRABU DON'T YOU LEAVE ME ON READ 

Semi: I'M COMING TO PICK YOUR STUPID ASSES UP 

Semi: You better be ready Kenjirou. I'm incredibly pissed at you right now. 

Shirabu: Oh? What do you want me to say? Please don't hurt me daddy? Fuck you. 

Semi: Hmm. We'll see. 

\---------------------------------

Bokuto and Akaashi  
3:23 PM 

Bokuto: AGAASHI 

Bokuto: AGHKASHIIH

Bokuto: AKAHSHI

Bokuto: AKAASHI 

Bokuto: Akaashi. 

Bokuto: Keiji I see that you're reading my messages. Where are you

Akaashi: Hello Bokuto-san. 

Bokuto: AKAASHI I WAS SO WORRIED PLEASE NEVER DO THIS TO ME AGAIN!!! WHERE ARE YOU??? 

Akaashi: America. 

Bokuto: ...What? 

Akaashi: I'm in America with some friends. Oikawa won a game and dragged us to Hawaii. 

Bokuto: You're in Hawaii? Without me? 

Akaashi: I'm sure your girlfriend wouldn't like it if I dragged you to another country for a week. 

Bokuto: A WEEK

Bokuto: AKAASHI WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WITHOUT YOU FOR AN ENTIRE WEEK??!?!?

Akaashi: The same thing you do everyday. Just without me in the way. 

Bokuto: NO YOU'RE NEVER IN THE WAY

Bokuto: AKAAAASHI COME BACK I MISS YOU SO MUCH 

Bokuto: Wait. Semi just called me and asked if you were in Hawaii too? 

Akaashi: Ah. Shirabu must have talked to him. 

Bokuto: Shirabu? Damn, did you invite every other person along but me? 

Bokuto: Don't ignore me, Kenji. You know I don't like it when you do. 

Bokuto: Semi's coming to get you guys. I think I'll tag along this time. 

Bokuto: I'm not happy right now, Kenji. Not happy at all. 

Akaashi: Okay. 

Bokuto: 🙃 

\------------------------------------

Kuroo and Kenma  
3:35 PM

Kuroo: So Bo called me? 

Kuroo: He said Akaashi and Shirabu are in Hawaii?? 

Kuroo: And since you haven't been to school the last few days, I'm assuming you're with them??? 

Kenma: Yes. 

Kuroo: Oh. 

Kuroo: Why? 

Kenma: Why? Because I needed a break and Oikawa brought up going to Hawaii. 

Kuroo: A break from what? Kenma what's going on? 

Kenma: Someone I loved broke my heart. I need a break. 

Kuroo: Who was she? Kenma who broke your heart? I'll punch them, just come back. 

Kenma: She? Kuro I'm not straight? 

Kuroo: What? But...you said you were? 

Kenma: What? When? What are you talking about Kuro? 

Kuroo: So you don't remember the party we all had? 

Kenma: Party? You know I don't go to parties Kuro. What are you on about? 

Kuroo: ...You don't even remember going to the party? How drunk were you? 

Kenma: I don't know what you're talking about. I need to go now, Hoshiumi and Hinata are trying to jump into the ocean. 

Kuroo: ... I'm going with Bo and Semi to pick you guys up and we need to talk. 

Kenma: I don't want to talk to someone that broke my heart Kuro. I need a break. 

Kuroo: WHAT 

Kuroo: KENMA WHAT

Kuroo: NO COME BACK

Kuroo: I'M COMING AND WE'RE FUCKING TALKING 

\----------------------------------------

Sakusa and Atsumu  
3:41 PM

Sakusa: I'm coming. 

Atsumu: Ha. That's what she said 😂😂

Atsumu: No but really, what? 

Sakusa: Kuroo called. I'm coming. 

Atsumu: OMI-OMI

Atsumu: OMI-KUN 

Atsumu: SAKUSA

Atsumu: DON'T JUST LEAVE ME WITH SUCH A SCARY MESSAGE!!! 

Atsumu: KIYOOMI

Atsumu: I'm so scared 😭😭

\------------------------------------------

Osamu and Suna  
3:43 PM

Osamu: I'm so hungry 

Osamu: I want tofu 

Osamu: Onigiri 

Osamu: mmmm fatty tuna 

Suna: You're a pig. 

Suna: Just get up and cook something to eat. 

Osamu: Don't wanna. Too lazy. 

Osamu: Oh yeah. Where are ya and Atsumu anyway? It's been way too quiet so Atsumu's definitely not here. 

Suna: Hawaii. 

Osamu: Without me? How mean. I see you have a favorite twin after all. 

Suna: Hell no. Atsumu's still an annoying little shit. 

Osamu: Okay. Bring me a souvenir or something. 

Osamu: Actually, bring me American food. All of it. 

Suna: No. 

Osamu: Fine then I'm on my way. 

Suna: No. 

Osamu: Too late I suddenly forgot how to read. 

Suna: No. 

Osamu: Can't hear you, too busy packing. See ya later. 

Suna: ....

Suna: Oh no. 

\------------------------------------------

Ushijima and Tendou  
3:45 PM

Ushijima: Where are you Satori? 

Tendou: I'M IN HAWAII UWU 

Ushijima: Why? 

Tendou: Because we're rich Ushi 🙄😒 and I lost a game to Oikawa

Ushijima: He should have come to Shiratorizawa. 

Tendou: Yeah, yeah. I'll be back next week, see you Ushi ♥️♥️♥️

Ushijima: No. 

Tendou: No? 

Ushijima: We're on our way. I will talk to you again in a few hours. Goodbye. 

Tendou: USHI??? 

Tendou: WHAT!?!? 

Tendou: Actually, I'm not surprised. I guessed this would happen and already prepared :3 

Tendou: You will never catch us alive! 😂😂

Ushijima: I don't plan on killing you, Satori? And I will catch you, I already have your location. 

Tendou: ...Dammit. 

\------------------------------------------------

Lev and Yaku  
3:47 PM

Lev: Heeeeey Shortie!!

Yaku: Don't call me that you shit 

Lev: Yaaaaaku 😟

Lev: I miss you. Kuro said you were in America. 

Yaku: Oh yeah. 

Lev: ....Are you having fun? 

Yaku: I guess? The food is good and the water feels nice. 

Lev: If you're having fun then I'll try and hold them off a little longer!!! 

Yaku: Who's them? What are you talking about Lev? 

Lev: A bunch of out friends are coming to pick you up! It's so cool, I wish I went to Shiratorizawa. 

Yaku: Yeah? If you want to go that bad then go you asshole. 

Lev: WHAT? NO YAKU I'M SORRY 😭😭

Lev: DON'T LEAVE ME LIKE THIS 😭

Lev: NEVERMIND I'M COMING WITH THEM TO APOLOGIZE TO YOUR FACE!!! 

Lev: See you later Mori :3 

\--------------------------------------------

Kageyama and Hinata  
3:50 PM

Kageyama: Boke where are you? 

Hinata: Don't call me that Bakageyama!! 😠

Kageyama: DON'T CALL ME THAT BOKE HINATA BOKE 

Hinata: GAHHHH I'M IGNORING YOU NOW 

Kageyama: No wait

Kageyama: Where are you? 

Hinata: I'm not telling you 😠

Kageyama: Tell me where you are...please 

Hinata: 😲

Hinata: DID YOU JUST SAY PLEASE 

Hinata: THAT'S SO CUUUUTE 

Hinata: I'M IN HAWAII WITH A BUNCH OF FRIENDS ♥️♥️♥️🌴🏖️

Kageyama: What? 

Kageyama: Lev called me. I'm coming too. 

Hinata: Lev?? Where are you going? 

Kageyama: Hawaii. 

Hinata: WHAT 

Hinata: NO STAY AWAY BAKAGEYAMA 

Kageyama: TOO LATE 

Hinata: NOOOOOOOOOOO

\--------------------------------------------

Matsukawa and Hanamaki  
3:53 PM

Matsukawa: Hey your legs r like an oreo cookie 

Matsukawa: Because I wanna split them open and lick all the white stuff in between. 

Hanamaki: HAHAHAHHAHA 

Hanamaki: THIS IS HOW WE START CONVERSATIONS NOW 

Hanamaki: Do you draw? 

Hanamaki: Because I put the D in raw 😏😉

Matsukawa: I love how you just went along with this. 

Matsukawa: My soulmate ♥️

Hanamaki: My bro for life 

Matsukawa: Bro's before hoes ♥️♥️

Matsukawa: I'm really jealous of your heart ♥️

Matsukawa: Because it's pumping inside you and I'm not 

Hanamaki: 😳😳

Hanamaki: Ooooh that one was hot 🤒🔥

Matsukawa: You think so? Nice 

Matsukawa: Oh yeah where are you? 

Matsukawa: I forgot to ask you and just jumped into the jokes 😂

Hanamaki: Loool I'm in Hawaii!! 

Matsukawa: 🌴 Wow 🌴

Matsukawa: Kags just called me 🌴

Matsukawa: Looks like I'm coming to 🌴Hawaii 🌴 too 😎

Hanamaki: ?? Yay? 

Matsukawa: See you later babe ♥️

Hanamaki: I'm waiting baby 😩

Matsukawa: lol

Hanamaki: No but really, you're coming? 

Matsukawa: Yup 

Hanamaki: See you later then I guess ♥️

Matsukawa: ♥️

\-------------------------------------------

Asahi and Nishinoya  
3:54 PM

Noya: ASAHI I'M IN HAWAII!!!! 

Asahi: Wow! That's so cool! 

Noya: Yeah I'll be back next week!! 

Asahi: That's not so cool

Asahi: You can't miss an entire week of school Noya! 

Noya: But everyone else is!! Even Hinata!! 

Asahi: If everyone else jumped off a bridge would you too?? 

Noya: That sounds so cool!!!! 

Asahi: Noya you're scaring me. Kageyama is coming to pick you guys up so I'll tag along

Asahi: I'm worried about you being in another country with your impulsiveness. 

Noya: Yes daddy 🙄

Asahi: NOYA

Asahi: I'M NOT BEING A PARENT I'M BEING A FRIEND 

Noya: You're so dense 😔

Asahi: ????? 

Asahi: I'll see you later Noya and you better be wearing sunscreen! 

Noya: 🙄

\-----------------------------------------------

Kindaichi and Kunimi  
3:56 PM

Kindaichi: Where are you, Oikawa and Hanamaki? 

Kunimi: Hawaii 

Kindaichi: And you willingly went? 

Kunimi: No Oikawa dragged me along 

Kindaichi: Ahh. Well just to let you know...Iwaizumi's pissed 

Kunimi: What else is new? 

Kindaichi: No he's.... reallllllllly pissed off 

Kindaichi: At Oikawa 

Kunimi: ...What else is new? 

Kindaichi: I feel bad for Oikawa 

Kindaichi: Anyways, I'm coming to get you before you burn to a crisp 

Kunimi: please come save me 

Kindaichi: I'm omw 

\-----------------------------------------------

Koganegawa and Goshiki  
3:59 PM

Kogane: Shiki!!!! 😁

Goshiki: Kogane!!!! 😊

Kogane: Where are you? Our group chat is going wild!! 

Goshiki: What group chat? 

Kogane: ... Nothing 

Kogane: YOU'RE IN HAWAII 😲

Kogane: THAT'S SO COOL 

Goshiki: I KNOW RIGHT!! 

Kogane: I WANNA GO AND PLAY WITH JELLY FISH AND EAT ICE CREAM 

Goshiki: I'LL TAKE YOU NEXT TIME!! 

Kogane: Really? 

Goshiki: Yeah! I want you to have fun and Hawaii is a blast! 

Kogane: !!! I wanna see you right now, it's been so long! 😄😄

Goshiki: Me too! 

Kogane: I'm going to go with them then! See you soon! 

Goshiki: !!!!!! I can't wait!!! 

Goshiki: Wait who's them? 

Kogane: Our friends!!! 

Goshiki: OHHH THE MORE FRIENDS THE BETTER!!!!!!! 

Kogane: THIS IS GOING TO BE SO MUCH FUN!!!!!!!!!! 🤩

Goshiki: YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🤩

\----------------------------------------------

Sachirou and Hoshiumi  
4:03 PM

Sachirou: Where are you? 

Hoshiumi: In Hawaii riding the waves!!!! 🏄🌊

Sachirou: Why are you in Hawaii? We have practice. 

Hoshiumi: I am practicing! Me and Hinata are trying out beach volleyball!!! 

Hoshiumi: It's so hard!! 

Sachirou: ....I see. 

Sachirou: I'm coming to pick you up. You can't miss anymore school. 

Hoshiumi: Boo! I'm having so much fun 😠

Sachirou: You should have went on a break. 

Hoshiumi: 😠😠

Sachirou: I will see you later Hoshiumi. Have fun while you can. 

Hoshiumi: YOU'RE SO MEAN AND BORING!!!! 

Hoshiumi: I HATE YOU STUPID. YOU STUPID!! 

Hoshiumi: ...I didn't mean that 

Hoshiumi: I'll be waiting for you I guess 😔

\-----------------------------------------------

Iwaizumi and Oikawa  
4:06 PM

Iwa-chan: Oikawa. 

Iwa-chan: Where. Are. You. 

Oikawa: I'm. Not. Telling. You. 😂

Iwa-chan: You don't have too. I already know. I just wanted to see just how hard I need to kick your ass. 

Iwa-chan: If you can leave for a week, I hope you don't plan on walking for a week. 

Oikawa: How kinky 😳

Oikawa: If you don't want me walking for the next week then come get me daddy 😉

Iwa-chan: Fuck you. 

Iwa-chan: You better be fucking ready Shittykawa. 

Oikawa: I'm already prepared for you to tare me up 😉

Oikawa: Aww don't ignore me Iwa-chaaaaaan ☹️

Oikawa: Iwa-chan 😟

Oikawa: Now I'm actually scared 😖

Oikawa: Please don't hurt me Iwa-chan 😭😭

Oikawa: Iwa-chaaaaaaaaaaan 😭😖😟☹️

\--------------------------------------------- 

Strong Tops who are in love with our best friends but can't do anything because they are straight 😠  
4:11 PM 

Iwa-chan: I'm so pissed off. 

Semi: Same. 

Bokuto: I'm kinda mad too ☹️

Kuroo: I'm more confused then anything. Kenma said he was gay?? 

Sakusa: But they told us they were all straight at the party. 

Osamu: Yeah. That sucks. I hate dating this girl, she's so annoying. 

Ushijima: If we did not find girlfriends, they would have found out our feelings. 

Lev: Yeah I like my friendship with Yaku 😔 I can't believe they left us behind 

Kageyama: When are we leaving? 

Matsukawa: Yeah, I wanna see Makki

Asahi: I'm worried for Noya's well-being 

Kindaichi: I'm scared for Oikawa-san's well-being 😟 

Kogane: Shiki said he'd take me again next time! I can't wait to spend time with him!!!!! 

Sachirou: How are we getting there anyways? 

Semi: Me and Ushijima have family jets! We'll take Ushijima's because it's faster 

Matsukawa: Damn. They're the rich rich 

Osamu: Eat the rich 

Matsukawa: Eat the rich

Lev: Eat the rich? 

Kageyama: Eat the rich 

Ushijima: I do not understand. 

Semi: Don't worry about it, they're just being dumb

Ushijima: I see. 

Semi: ANYWAYS! Shirabu called me daddy??? 

Asahi: So did Noya 😳

Asahi: I WAS SO EMBARRASSED SO I PLAYED IT OFF LIKE HE WAS CALLING ME A DAD!!!!

Semi: WHAT IS GOING ON WITH THEM!?!?

Matsukawa: Idk. I was ready to rail Makki tho 😩

Matsukawa: He didn't even question my pick up lines and just threw in his own ♥️♥️ My soulmate 😍

Sachirou: Hoshiumi called me stupid. And boring. Am I? 

Kindaichi: I mean...you and Ushijima are just...so blunt?? Kinda dense too I guess. 

Sakusa: You're both idiots actually. 

Kindaichi: I WAS TRYING TO SAY IT NICELY SAKUSA-SAN!!!!!

Sakusa: Hmm. 

Ushijima: I see. So I am in fact, an idiot. Is that why Satori doesn't love me? 

Sachirou: I will try to be less blunt if that is what you so desire. 

Kogane: ... they're like robots 😕

Kageyama: lol. When are we leaving? 

Semi: Oh right I didn't answer you yet 

Semi: When everyone gets here I guess 

Iwa-chan: I'm almost there. 

Bokuto: Me and Kuro just got off the bus! See you in a few 

Kuroo: UGHHHHH my head hurts! What did Kenma mean I broke his heart!?!?!?!?

Sakusa: He's having an entire gay crisis. 

Osamu: Welcome to Kuroo's gay crisis hotline! How may we help you? 

Kuroo: Fuck you

Osamu: 😧😧 Worst service ever, 0/10 don't recommend 

Kuroo: FUCK YOU OSAMU

Osamu: Don't get hard peter I'm just playing with ya 

Ushijima: I see you all. I'm on the porch. 

Asahi: I get sick on flights 🤢

Lev: I just got here! 

Semi: Great looks like everyone made it. Let's go to Hawaii 🌴

Matsukawa: Yes daddy 😩

Semi: ...No. Only Shirabu gets to call me that 🤢

Matsukawa: 😧😧😧😧

\-------------------------------------------------

Beautiful bottoms who are in love with our best friends but can't make a move because they all have lovers 😭

Oikawa: ...I'm dead ☠️🔪

Shirabu: ...Me too. 

Shirabu: I CALLED SEMI DADDY 

Shirabu: OSHFOWWVXKDOWG

Oikawa: THAT KEYBOARD SMASH IS SO UGLY!!!! 

Oikawa: ALSO WHAT!?!?!?

Noya: I DID TOO 😭😭😭

Noya: AND ASAHI JUST THOUGHT I WAS CALLING HIM A DAD 😭😭😭

Hoshiumi: WHAT SITUATION WERE YOU IN FOR THAT TO HAPPEN!?!? 

Shirabu: Idk. He was all like "You better be ready Kenjirou" and it was...so hot. 

Noya: ...He was actually being a dad 😔

Akaashi: ...Bokuto seemed angry at me. That has never happened before...

Akaashi: It kinda gets my blood pumping. 

Shirabu: SEE! IDK IDK IDK IT'S JUST SO HOT 

Oikawa: Oh I know 😩😩 Iwa-chan was all aggressive and it's got me feeling some type of way 

Kenma: ...I told Kuro that he broke my heart 

Atsumu: Woah what? How did he take that 😬

Kenma: He was so confused?? For some reason he thought I was straight??? He said something about a party

Suna: ...

Suna: Oh boy 

Kenma: ???? Do you know something Suna? 

Suna: ...We did go to a party 😬

Suna: Shatsumu spiked the fruit punch with some strong shit. After that it was a blur 

Atsumu: ...Rude 😔

Kenma: ...I love fruit punch....ATSUMU!!!!! 😠

Atsumu: BEFORE YOU KILL ME 

Kenma: ...

Atsumu: That night was fun as shiiiiiit 😂

Atsumu: THAT'S WHEN I MADE OUT WITH THE FLAMINGO!!! 

Atsumu: LOLOLOLOL 

Kenma: All I'm hearing is "Please murder me Kenma." 

Tendou: But why do they think we're straight??? 

Suna: I actually have no idea 

Atsumu: Idk I was too busy drowning in the pool 🤷

Tendou: Oh right that party I threw last week! Lol Atsumu looked like a fish 😂😂

Suna: Didn't you call me that night? 

Tendou: ?? 

Suna: Oh yeah you did. You called me and said "Hey it's getting late so I called an Uber." And I said that we were having the party at your house and you literally paused and said "Then where am I going??" 

Oikawa: LOLOLOLOL Tendou you're such a mess 😂😂

Atsumu: No no no no I specifically remember you running down the street butt naked screaming about aliens coming after you

Atsumu: So I almost drowned in 2 foot deep water, Tendou left his own party and Oikawa ran down the street with his dick flying 

Kenma: WE'RE GOING OFF TOPIC KURO THOUGHT I WAS STRAIGHT 

Kenma: LIKE??? I'VE BEEN SIMPING OVER THIS DUDE FOR YEARS!! WHAT, DID HE THINK I JUST CHASED AFTER EVERY SINGLE PERSON I MEET???? 

Yaku: I'll do you one better, Lev's too oblivious to even realize I like anybody, let alone him. 

Hinata: No I'll do you TWO better! THEY'RE COMING TO HAWAII 

Hanamaki: My bae's coming for me 😩😩 Maybe if I act like I'm drowning in the ocean, he'll jump in and save me?? 

Hanamaki: And then we'll rip each others clothing off and have extremely public sex in the sand 😩😩

Kunimi: I can't wait to go home. 

Goshiki: I CAN'T WAIT FOR KOGANE TO GET HERE ♥️♥️♥️♥️

Hoshiumi: I called Sachirou stupid 😟😟 I just want to see him and apologize!! 

Oikawa: Oh right. HANAMAKI THIS ISN'T THE TIME TO BE HORNY THEY'RE COMING TO KILL US ☠️🔪

Hanamaki: EXCUSE ME IT'S ALWAYS TIME TO BE HORNY FOR MATTSUN 😩😩 

Hanamaki: And if he comes and chokes me out then... 🤤🤤 That's a bonus for me 

Shirabu: ...

Akaashi: ...

Oikawa: YOU'RE ALL HORNY FREAKS IWA-CHAN'S GOING TO KILL MEEEEEE 

Atsumu: I KNOOOOOW 😭😭😭 OMI-OMI LEFT ME WITH SUCH A SCARY LAST MESSAGE 

Yaku: If Lev tries anything I'm taking away his knee cap privileges 😀

Oikawa: ... I'm running away. My last chance at survival is to become a homeless bum in a dirty alley living in a box with my 9263849 stray cats. 

Oikawa: I'll have to fight the cats for scraps from the trash can and wash my body in the rain with half a bar of soap 😭😭

Oikawa: I'll have to shave off all my hair because I won't have my special hair care products and I'd rather be bald then to watch my glorious locks fall to greasy ruins 😭😭😭😭

Oikawa: I'LL BE A HOMELESS, CAT OWNER WITH NO HAIR AND A RECORD OF BEING CHASED AWAY BY THE POLICE BECAUSE I CAN'T BE NAKED IN THE MIDDLE OF A CITY TAKING A SHOWER 

Atsumu: ...Idk why that was so specific but count me in. That sounds more safe than facing Omi-kun's wrath 😟😟

Yaku: You're both idiots. 

Shirabu: I lost brain cells just reading that. 

Kunimi: ... Iwaizumi is pretty scary. 

Tendou: ...And he's about to get even scarier. A private jet from Japan just landed 😬😬

Shirabu: I can't wait. 

Oikawa: I'M OUT OF HERE 😱🏃

Akaashi: Well this will be interesting. 

Kenma: ...I don't want to exist anymore. 

Atsumu: WAIT OIKAWA DON'T LEAVE ME BEHIND 😭😱

Suna: Oh no. 

Tendou: Damn he really did have our location. My man's got connections 🤤😋

Yaku: I can't believe that dumbass actually came. 

Hinata: BAKAGEYAMA'S SO SCARY 😭😭😭😭 DON'T LET HIM KILL MEEEEEE 

Hinata: WAIT- 

Hinata added: Sugawara to the chat 

Sugawara changed their name to Suga 

Suga: ??? The chat name is interesting

Hinata: MOM IF I GET FOUND DEAD I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT I LOVE YOU 😭😭

Suga: HINATA MY CHILD WHAT'S WRONG!? WHERE ARE YOU!!? 

Oikawa: WE MADE A MISTAKE 😭😭

Atsumu: WE'RE DEAD MEAT ☠️😭

Suga: NO HINATA TELL ME WHO'S KILLING YOU 

Oikawa: DON'T IGNORE US 

Suga: HINATA I'M COMING!!! 

Atsumu: 😭😭😭

Hinata: KAGEYAMA CAME TO AMERICA TO KILL MEEEEEEE 

Suga: You're in America? WITHOUT telling me? 

Hinata: ...

Suga: I give Kags permission to kill you 😔

Hinata: MOM NO- 

Hanamaki: I think I see them. Tall, handsome, sexy 🤤🤤 Oh and the rest of them aren't bad I guess 

Noya: Crap I forgot to put on sunscreen!! My skin hurts and Asahi's going to kill me! 

Kunimi: I'm saved. 

Goshiki: KOGANE KOGANE KOGANE 

Hoshiumi: Sachirou's so hot 😍

Oikawa: AHHHH HE'S RUNNING AT ME 

Oikawa: HELP MESIHZHC

Shirabu: Well he's dead. 

Shirabu: Oh and Semi looks furious 🤤

Tendou: Well played Wakatoshi. Well played.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rip Oikawa 😔 fly high 🙏😇
> 
> Follow me on Twitter @IsHaikyuu for sneak peeks of future chapters/stories I'm writing/ect.
> 
> If you have Discord friend me @Dadchi #2660 I accept literally everyone 😂


	3. The one where Oikawa dies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 🙏😇
> 
> Ft. Wingman Yams and Komori and chaotic boy Daishou

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess this is a chat/story fic now? It won't happen often I hate writing 😭
> 
> Chats so far:  
> Bottoms chat  
> Tops chat  
> Stop blowing up that chat I'm trying to sleep  
> (Everyone)
> 
> Follow me on Twitter @IsHaikyuu for sneak peeks of future chapters/stories I'm writing/ect.
> 
> If you have Discord friend me @Dadchi #2660 I accept literally everyone 😂

Stop blowing up that chat I'm trying to sleep  
4:54 PM 

Oikawa: ARE THEY STILL FOLLOWING US HDUD

Atsumu: Oh let mey check...

Atsumu: OF COURSE THEY'RE STILL FOLLOWING USVHRBT 

Iwaizumi: GET BACK HERE SHITTYKAWA 

Oikawa: KYAAAAAAAAAAAHIFBEVDJICT 

Sakusa: The longer I chase after you Atsumu the worst it's going to be. 

Atsumu: HOWY THE FUCK ARE YA TCXTING SO GOD WHILE RUNING 

Oikawa: YOU'LL NEVER CATCH US ALIVE 

Atsumu: DON'T SAY THAT!!!! THEY'LL ACTUALLY KILL USSSSSS 

Oikawa: HHHHHHHHHHH 

\--------------------

Oikawa huffed for breath, the sand beneath his feet made running twice as difficult. Iwa-chan's angry shouting seemed to grow closer as seconds passed. Atsumu seemed to realize this as well, his eyes grew wide with fear and he let out a high-pitched screech. 

One second they were running, the next his foot slipped and Atsumu crashed into his back. They tumbled to the sand with loud oofs. Oikawa knew the other two caught up when shadows fell over them. 

"You're both idiots," Iwaizumi snorted, glare ready to kill. 

"You made us come to Hawaii, don't run now 'Tsumu," Sakusa scowled. Even though the sun was full force he still dressed in all black, right down to his gloves. 

The two huffed for breath and met gazes. Mutual fear shined in their bright eyes, this is the end of Oikawa and Atsumu. 

\---------------------

Beautiful bottoms who are in love with our best friends but can't make a move because they all have lovers 😭  
5:17 PM

Oikawa: I will miss you all dearly 😭

Atsumu: Press F to pay respect to our souls 😭😭

Shirabu: F U 

Suna: Lol see you in hell 

Yaku: F 

Tendou: NOOOOO MY BESTIES 😭😭 

Kunimi: ...I want to go home 😭

Goshiki: Yay this is so much fun! Everyone's here!!! 😊

Hinata: H-He's so scaaaaaary 😭😭

Noya: More like F for my skin it hurts so bad 😠

Akaashi: Bokuto-san's so hot with his hair down 🤤

Hoshiumi: SACHIROU WON'T LOOK AT MEEEEEEE 

Hanamaki: Oh my mans looks like a whole snack in his swimming shorts 🤤🤤🤤

\----------------------

Kenma sighed and turned his phone off. Nervousness made him shift on his feet and scratch at his arms. Kuroo stood in front of him, gaze aimed far off into the horizon. 

He didn't know what to say or what to do with his body. He didn't want this to escalate so far, he didn't know them all being away for a week was such a big deal. The time, space, just room to breath, it did wonders to Kenma. It hurt so bad, but he was starting to accept that Kuro would never be his. 

"I-!" They both paused at the same time and flushed. It has never been this awkward with them before. Years of growing up together made them comfortable around one another, something about their relationship is different now. 

Maybe it was the part where Kenma was unconditional in love with Kuro. 

"Y-You first," Kenma mumbled quietly, eyes glued to a passing crab. 

Kuroo steeled himself and took a deep breath, his heart pounded a tune through his chest that he was sure Kenma could hear. Before he could say anything, screams interrupted the moment. 

The two glanced over and watched as Iwaizumi and Sakusa dragged Oikawa and Atsumu back to the group by their feet. Kuroo snorted and took a step back, aware of how close the two were. 

"We need to talk later Kenma. Don't run away like them, you know I'll catch you," He warned with amusement. 

Kenma gulped and nodded, not that he was planning on running, he didn't have the energy for that. 

\---------------------

Beautiful bottoms who are in love with our best friends but can't make a move because they all have lovers 😭  
5:21 PM

Oikawa: TRAITORS ALL OF YOU!!! 

Atsumu: Owwwww I'm getting sand burn 😭😭

Shirabu: lolololol 

Atsumu: SHIRABU STOP RECORDING THIS YA ASSHOLE 

Oikawa: YEAH DON'T YOU HAVE A CRUSH TO DEAL WITH 

Shirabu: Nah he's ignoring me right now 😂

Yaku: ...We should get back to the hotel and sort this out. 

Noya: I JUST WANT OUT OF THE SUN 🤕

\---------------------

Noya groaned as the sun beat down on his red skin. Asahi was behind him ruffling threw a bag he brought. 

"I knew you would forget, please be more careful from now on," Asahi's calm voice pleaded before something cold pressed against his back. 

Noya squeaked and jerked away from the touch, but Asahi grabbed his shoulder before he got away. 

"It's just sunscreen Noya. We need to get you some protection before it gets worse," Asahi soothed, gently rubbing at his burning skin. 

Noya sighed and relaxed into the sensation. The light, ticklish feeling felt good. 

"I'm sorry I made you worry Asahi-san," Noya mumbled. 

Even though he left without saying anything, Asahi still treated him gently. How could Noya make him worry about him so much? 

"It's okay Noya, I'm just happy we got to it before it got too bad," Asahi answered. 

Noya felt his heart pound with love. He just wanted to kiss this overgrown giant. After everything, Asahi still only thought of his well-being. 

\------------------------

Beautiful bottoms who are in love with our best friends but can't make a move because they all have lovers 😭  
5:25 PM

Noya: I LOVE HIM SO MUCH (♡ω♡ ) ~♪

Kenma: Yay. 

Shirabu: Semi's still ignoring me 😒

Hinata: ...

Suga: I don't know what's going on over there but you better be back home by tomorrow 🙃

Hinata: 😱

Hinata: I don't know what to dooooooo Kageyama's just glaring at me and my mom wants me dead 😭

Oikawa: I'm so scared 😭😭😭😭😭

Atsumu: Someone help USSSSSS ಥ‿ಥ

Hinata: I know! 

Hinata added: Motoya Komori, Suguru Daishou and Tadashi Yamaguchi to the chat 

Komori: Oya? 

Daishou: OIKAWA!? ATSUMU!? TENDOU!? 

Oikawa: DAI-CHAN!!!!! 

Tendou: SHO-SHO!!!!! 

Atsumu: DAISHOU!!! 

Komori: And Komori!! 

Yamaguchi: I feel kinda left out... 

Hinata: KOMORI!!!! YAMS!!!!! 

Komori: (◍•ᴗ•◍)❤

Yamaguchi: (✿ ♡‿♡)

Hinata: ( ˘ ³˘)♥

Goshiki: ( ◜‿◝ )♡

Hoshiumi: (｡･ω･｡)ﾉ♡

Suna: Okay that's enough. 

Suna: Why did you add more people? Now the chaotic 4 is back together 

Daishou: 😍

Tendou: 😘

Oikawa: 💖💖💖

Atsumu: 😻😻😻😻😻

Hinata: WE NEED HELP!!! 

Suga: you could have just asked me ☹️

Komori: Explain please 

Kenma: We're in America and all of our crushes followed us to drag us back to Japan 

Akaashi: And they're mad 🤤

Shirabu: Reaaaaally mad 🤤🤤

Oikawa: THEY'RE GOING TO KILL US 

Atsumu: DAISHOU SAVE US 😱😱

Komori: I see I see 

Yamaguchi: Oof so that's where you all went 

Yamaguchi: Daichi-san's on a rampage because half of the team is missing 

Hoshiumi: KOMORI SAVE US WITH YOUR BIG BRAIN 🧠🤓

Komori: Those emojis offend me 😒

Komori: But I have an idea 

Yaku: I just want this idiot to unlatch himself from my leg 🙃

Hanamaki: Does your plan involve us getting screwed 🤤 If that's the case, I'm in! 

Kunimi: Are you never not horny? 

Hanamaki: 😋🤭

Hanamaki: Have you seen Mattsun? Who wouldn't constantly be horny around him 🤤

Oikawa: 🖐️

Kunimi: 🖐️

Tendou: 🖐️

Atsumu: 🖐️

Daishou: 🖐️

Hanamaki: You people don't know what you're missing out on 😘

Komori: He is pretty hot-

Hanamaki: 🔫😀

Oikawa: lololol yeah I would leave Iwa-chan for that meat 😩

Hanamaki: no no no no no no no no no no 

Daishou: He could spike a ball at my face and I'd say thank you 😍😈

Hanamaki: NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO 

Komori: lol enough joking. I have one plan, and one plan only. 

Komori: There is no other options. 

Shirabu: Well that doesn't sound good. 

Akaashi: This should be interesting. 

Komori: If this doesn't work, nothing will 

Kenma: I hate this already. 

Suna: Stop dragging it on and just tell us 

Yaku: I hope it involves murdering a two meter russian. 

Komori: What you need to do is... 

Hinata: Run away and hide? 😟

Goshiki: Talk it out and figure out what happened at the party?

Hoshiumi: The only sane option, run for our fucking lives. 

Komori: Pray to God that they're gentle with you 

Oikawa: (ʘᴗʘ✿)

Atsumu: 😃😆😃

Tendou: 👁️👄👁️

Shirabu: But I don't want gentle- 

Akaashi: ^

Kenma: Well that solved absolutely nothing. 

Suna: Should have expected that from you Komori 😒

Yaku: I'm just going to go with the murder option. 

Hinata: There was no murder option- 

Yaku: There is now 😀

Hanamaki: So what you're saying is let them have their way with our bodies 🤤

Komori: Nah, just pray they don't beat you all to death 😂

Noya: Asahi would never lay a finger on me 😠

Kunimi: Lol I can't wait to go to all of your funerals knowing I could have changed the outcome 

Goshiki: ...This chat strays further and further away from God everyday 

Hoshiumi: I just want Sachirou to look at MEEEEEE 😭

Suga: Well well well, if it isn't the consequences of your own actions 

Yamaguchi: I'm just noticing the chat name...

Yamaguchi: Why are you all so dumb? 

Oikawa: 😟

Tendou: 😟😟

Atsumu: 😟😟😟

Daishou: Sorry babes, I have to agree with the strawberry 

Komori: Why is everyone so oblivious? 

Komori: Actually no, this could be fun 😂

Yamaguchi: I remember when I thought Tsuki was straight 😂 Now we're a happily married couple 😊

Hinata: No you're not? 

Yamaguchi: Well he doesn't KNOW we're married...bah details details 

Akaashi: Well we're back at the hotel. 

Oikawa: I guess I'll see you all in the afterlife 

Atsumu: When I die...make sure 'Samu gets none of my stuff 

Shirabu: Oh Semi's looking at me! Time to be the little shit everyone knows and loves ❤️

Komori: If all else fails just let them fuck you unconscious 😂

Hanamaki: NOW WE'RE TALKING 🤤🤤🤤 XOXO

Yamaguchi: ....

Suga: ......

Daishou: ........

Komori: ........... 

Komori: Are they all offline? 

Daishou: Yee

Yamaguchi: 5 bucks no one confesses 

Suga: 10 dollars Kenma confesses first 

Daishou: 20 bucks my boys end up dead 😞

Komori: 5 dollars and half of my peanut butter sandwich that they all get fucked 😂😂

Yaku: Fuck all of you. 

Komori: 🤭

Suga: 😳🤭

Daishou: 😂🤭

Yamaguchi: 😋🤭

Yaku: Yeah, I'm definitely going through with the murder option. 

\------------------------

Yaku sighed and looked down at the man attached to his leg. 

"Yaaaaaaaku!!!! I'm sorry!!!!" Lev cried, probably not even remembering what he was apologizing for. 

Yaku shook his leg and grunted as Lev held on tighter. 

"I get it so let go of me you big oaf," he sighed, already knowing he couldn't stay angry at the russian. 

"Do you forgive me?" Lev asked while looking up at him with big green eyes. 

"Hell no the moment you let go of my leg I'm going to shove it so far up your ass-!" 

"YAAAAAAAAAKU!!!!!" 

\------------------------

Atsumu sat on the bed and watched as Sakusa sanitized the room. He knew he should be scared, but the way Omi's muscles flexed under his tight black clothing had Atsumu drooling. 

No, no, no, no, no! Don't eye fuck the straight man Atsumu! 

Sakusa turned back to him with his arms crossed, the stance screamed anger. 

Atsumu wanted to drop on his knees before the man. 

"I don't know why you all thought running to another country for a week was a good idea. In fact, this is probably the stupidest thing you've ever done," Sakusa started. 

Atsumu wanted to correct him that no, this ISN'T the stupidest thing he's ever done, but that doesn't sound like a good idea at the moment. 

"I'm sorry Omi-Omi, I didn't think you'd come get me," Atsumu apologized instead. 

Sakusa grunted and sat down at the end of the bed. 

"We're going back to Japan tomorrow. We'll figure out what to do with you then," he answered. 

"Please don't kill me daddy," Atsumu joked. 

"Don't tempt me, Miya." 

\-------------------------

Suna watched as Osamu dug through the rooms fridge. He should have expected that Osamu would immediately head for food when they got to the room. 

Osamu emerged from the fridge with his mouth stuffed full of food. It would be disgusting if Suna wasn't so in love with the man. Osamu could do anything and he would find him cute. 

"So why'd ya come ta Hawaii? Kinda something ya wouldn't do," Osamu asked as he flopped down on the bed. 

"It seemed interesting," he shrugged. 

Suna was always on the lookout for something interesting. It wasn't hard to catch his attention, it was hard to keep it. He lost interest in things quickly which made it seem like he was lazy. 

Osamu was the only thing that's held his attention for so long. 

"Hm. Are ya having fun?" Osamu asked. 

Suna thought back on the trip with boredom. The sun was too hot, the sand clung to his skin, people came to close, it was miserable. 

He looked back at Osamu and finally felt a bit of excitment. Probably because Osamu was here with him. 

"I am now." 

\-----------------------

Shirabu hummed cheerfully as Semi glared at him. The heavy, angry stare sent shivers down his spine. 

"You're coming back with me," Semi declared.

"And why would I do that?" Shirabu blinked up at him innocently.

"Because I said so dammit! God you're always such a brat!" Semi hissed, eyes dark with fury. 

Anger made Semi look good. 

"I didn't know you were my daddy, Eita," Shirabu tilted his head mockingly.

Perhaps he took it too far. Semi growled, the sound deep in his throat that made Shirabu's knees weak. The next thing he knew he was thrown back on the bed with a huff. 

"Semi you ass-!" Shirabu cut off with a gasp as his hands were pinned above his head. 

"I thought you were smarter than that, Kenjirou." 

\------------------------

Beautiful bottoms who are in love with our best friends but can't make a move because they all have lovers 😭  
6:00 PM 

Komori: My gay senses are tingling. 

Daishou: They should have prayed 😇🙏

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More POVs next chapter/what's happening in the POVs already shown???
> 
> Follow me on Twitter @IsHaikyuu for sneak peeks of future chapters/stories I'm writing/ect.
> 
> If you have Discord friend me @Dadchi #2660 I accept literally everyone 😂


	4. Back to the crack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No plot just crack

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol here we go
> 
> Follow me on Twitter @IsHaikyuu for sneak peeks of future chapters/stories I'm writing/ect.
> 
> If you have Discord friend me @Dadchi #2660 I accept literally everyone 😂

Beautiful bottoms who are in love with our best friends but can't make a move because they all have lovers 😭  
11:38 AM

Suga: How are you beautiful bottoms feeling this fine morning?

Kenma: Compulsive, neurotic, anti-social, manic-depressive, paranoid, but basically happy.

Daishou: ...Are you okay over there?

Kenma: No❤️

Komori: Someone give me details I'm dying!

Suga: You all better be on the way back home 😊

Suga: Wrong emoji but it weirdly fits.

Hoshiumi: Nothing really happened on my part. We talked, I apologized, and we're back to being best friends with one-sided love 😭

Goshiki: I took Kogane out for the night! We had so much fun I love him so much 😍

Kunimi: We went to bed. He only came to make sure Oikawa didn't die.

Noya: I soaked in a cold bath until it was time to go. My skins all wrinkled and it hurt so bad 😭😭 Asahi rubs it often so that helps ❤️

Hanamaki: Me and Mattsun chilled on the beach and watched the moon 😋 I thought he would jump me but I guess that works too.

Hinata: Me and Bakageyama fought 😞 he said he isn't talking to me until I grow a brain, whatever that means 😭

Yaku: I beat Lev up and we want to bed. Apparently murder's illegal and I couldn't kill Lev, who knew?

Tendou: Nothing much really. Toshi made me promise not to do something so "irresponsible" again.

Suna: He ate all of the food and fell asleep on my bed. I had to sleep on the couch in my own room 😒

Atsumu: You should have slept with him 😩

Atsumu: but also gross 🤮

Atsumu: Omi said he'd figure out what to do with me when we get back to Japan 😭 I'm so scared.

Kenma: I'm deciding to live by the saying "If you do something you'll regret in the morning, sleep 'til noon" for the rest of my life, thank you.

Akaashi: Woah what happened on your part?

Kenma: Me and Kuro were just beginning to talk when he got all twitchy and ran out of the room.

Kenma: So now he's uncomfortably around me, I really love this for me.

Akaashi: Ouch. Bokuto-san was not in fact, rough with me. As soon as we were alone he cried and apologized for being mean to me.

Shirabu: Fuck you Tendou.

Atsumu: 😃😆😃

Oikawa: Random but not out of character. What did Ten-chan do?

Tendou: lololol

Shirabu: Semi was about to fucking rail me when Tendou STORMS IN! FOR ICE CREAM!!! LIKE, GO BY YOURSELF CAN'T YOU SEE I'M BUSY!?!?

Shirabu: So I would like you all to know, I hate Tendou Satori.

Tendou: lololol

Tendou: You're not allowed to get a boy friend before me! Stable relationships aren't allowed in this household 🏠

Suga: 👁️👄👁️

Yamaguchi: 💔👄💔

Hinata: Is this...

Hinata: Is this what a relationship looks like?

Hoshiumi: TELL US YOUR SECRETS

Suga: Have a cute mole under your eye 😘

Yamaguchi: ✨ Freckles ✨

Oikawa: 💔👄💔

Atsumu: 💔👄💔

Tendou: 💔👄💔

Daishou: 💔👄💔

Kenma: That's enough.

Hanamaki: ...But I have awesome pink hair!

Hanamaki: Doesn't that just scream gay?

Noya: Apparently not loud enough.

Goshiki: Oh yeah! What happened to you Oikawa-san? You're the only one who didn't answer.

Oikawa: ...

Oikawa: He locked me in the bathroom 😭

Oikawa: And only let me out after I said I was sorry and I was a "Stupid, dummy that makes horrible plans" ༎ຶ‿༎ຶ

Goshiki: HEY YOU DON'T MAKE HORRIBLE PLANS!!

Oikawa: THANK YOU SHIKI!!!

Oikawa: Wait what about the me being a stupid dummy part?

Oikawa: DON'T IGNORE ME NOW!!! ಥ‿ಥ

Shirabu: lololol

\--------------------------

Beautiful bottoms who are in love with our best friends but can't make a move because they all have lovers 😭  
3:05 AM

Hanamaki: Sticks and stones may break my bones but whips & chains excite me.

Oikawa: Poetic.

Shirabu: Is this what you think about? Like, is your life so boring that this is genuinely running through your mind?

Akaashi: Like whips don't excite you Shirabu.

Shirabu: ... You're not wrong. Don't act like chains don't excite YOU though.

Akaashi: Never said they didn't 🤤

Kenma: Are we getting no context? Like, he just did his damage and left.

Atsumu: Good. It was getting kinda chummy in here anyway.

Suna: Gotta ruin the good vibes.

Atsumu: Exactly.

Suna: ...

Atsumu: ...

Suna: Fat pig

Atsumu: I may be fat but you're ugly and I can diet

Suna: You're ugly and your mother dresses you funny

Atsumu: Excuse me NOBODY is ugly after 3 AM

Oikawa: ⊙.☉

Tendou: 👁️👄👁️

Yaku: Go to sleep.

Hinata: 😳

Hanamaki: I honestly didn't mean to start this.

Hanamaki: BUT I LOVE WHERE IT WENT 😂😂

Noya: It's the 'didn't go to nationals' for me.

Oikawa: @ me next time you coward.

Oikawa: It's the 'RoLlInG tHuNdEr' for me.

Noya: It's the 'Obsession with my childhood best friend' for me.

Oikawa: It's the 'getting suspended for knocking your principals wig off his head' for me. 

Noya: HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT-

Kunimi: This is probably the only time I've ever loved being in this chat. 

Goshiki: Everyone's a little feisty in the morning.

Hoshiumi: You did this Hanamaki.

Suga: Practice begins in 4 hours. Why aren't you all asleep?

Komori: Same could be said about you good sir.

Daishou: I just woke up to this. What a fine day it's turning out to be.

Yamaguchi: I hate it here.

Kenma: I've been saying that since the beginning.

Akaashi: ^

Shirabu: ^^

Yamaguchi: Now that I'm up I might as well exercise. I'm in a bad mood anyway.

Yaku: GO TO SLEEP

Suga: GO TO SLEEP NOW

Oikawa: Yes moms-

Shirabu: They started it.

Akaashi: Bye.

Kenma: ^

Atsumu: Goodnight Suna. Nice to see that you're still a bitch.

Suna: Goodnight Atsumu. Nice to see that you're still the fugly twin 🤮

Atsumu: UGH

Tendou: I wanted to join 😞

Hinata: Please don't Tendou 😞😞

Hanamaki: You had your chance.

Noya: Goodnight Flattykawa 😘

Oikawa: Bye lightning baby 😘

Kunimi: And it's lame again.

Goshiki: Yay! Goodnight!

Hoshiumi: This chat honestly frightens me.

Komori: Awww the chaos was just getting good ಠ︵ಠ

Daishou: GN

Yamaguchi: Next person that texts gets a plunger stuck up their butt.

Yamaguchi: That's what I thought.

\----------------------------

Beautiful bottoms who are in love with our best friends but can't make a move because they all have lovers 😭  
5:25 AM

Oikawa: Eschew Obfuscation (look it up)

Tendou: Oh my-

Atsumu: AHAHAHAHAHAHA 😂

Daishou: WHAT THE FUCK 😂😂😂

Kenma: Too early...

Akaashi: Why? What are we here? Just to suffer.

Suna: This is why I mute this chat.

Yaku: Why are you all already awake?

Shirabu: Bold of you to assume we ever went to bed.

Hanamaki: Sleep is for the weak.

Noya: Sleep? Who's she? Don't know her.

Suga: 100 laps during practice.

Noya: WHY

Hinata: AHHHHHHH

Suga: I'm sure you'll figure out who's sleep real quick 😊

Noya: NO WAY I'LL DIE

Hinata: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Hinata removed: Suga from the chat

Noya: Well now we're dead.

Hoshiumi: You do know that removing him from the chat won't stop him from killing you during practice right?

Komori: Rip Suga 😇🙏

Daishou: If you all died what would be your quote?

Oikawa: It's not whether you win or lose, but where you place the blame.

Shirabu: I lash out and strike at random.

Akaashi: I'm not completely worthless, I can always serve as a bad example.

Kenma: Individualists of the world- unite.

Atsumu: I told ya 'Samu.

Suna: I told you all Atsumu was an idiot.

Tendou: My lawyer can beat up your lawyer.

Yaku: Go to fucking sleep.

Hinata: I'M SORRY MOM PLEASE DON'T KILL ME 😭

Hanamaki: He who dies with the best tan, wins!!

Noya: ASAHI I LOVE YOU PLEASE PRAY FOR MY SOUL 😭

Kunimi: It's been lovely, but now I have to SCREAM.

Goshiki: I can resist everything- EXCEPT TEMPTATION

Hoshiumi: I'd rather be dead than pregnant.

Komori: Being weird just isn't enough anymore.

Yamaguchi: The future is not what it used to be.

Daishou: LMAO I WASN'T EXPECTING EVERYONE TO ANSWER 😂😂😂😂

Oikawa: Okay I think we should address the elephant in the room.

Oikawa: Yamaguchi what's up your ass today?

Kunimi: Wow even I would have asked nicer than that 😒

Yamaguchi: UGHHHHHH

Yamaguchi: TSUKI'S STUPID EX IS HANGING OUT WITH HIM TODAY

Yamaguchi: WHAT IF TSUKI REALIZES HE STILL HAS FEELINGS FOR HIM AND LEAVES ME!?!?

Yamaguchi: UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Shirabu: Oof. Looks like you're not as stable as we all thought.

Akaashi: Talk to him.

Oikawa: I didn't know Yams was this jelly 🤭

Kenma: The sad part is you can't even be mad at him.

Atsumu: Tsuki or his ex?

Kenma: lol nah they can both die for all I care.

Suna: Woah.

Kenma: I'm talking about Yamaguchi. People are ex's for a reason. Usually you cut then out of your life... unless you still have feelings for them.

Yamaguchi: EXACTLY

Goshiki: Or they want to stay friends because they realize they don't like each other romantically but enjoy each others company?

Komori: I love how Goshiki is the voice of reason in this chat.

Hinata: Hold up.

Hinata added: Sugawara to the chat

Noya: So he didn't kill us.

Sugawara changed their nickname to Suga

Suga: I realized I was being too much of a mom and sucking all of the fun out of the chat

Suga: Now instead of Sugamama you'll have horny for Daichi Suga 😩

Daishou: We love to see it 💋

Yamaguchi: BACK TO ME

Yamaguchi: WHAT IF HE BREAKS UP WITH ME!?!? I LOVE HIM TOO MUCH FOR THAT 😭

Suga: Huh? You mean Tsuki?

Yamaguchi: YEAH 😭😭

Suga: He's actually at my house right now. Apparently his ex wanted to get back with him and they got into a fight

Suga: My boy Tsuki beat the shit out of him 😂

Yamaguchi: OH MY GOD WHY DIDN'T HE TEXT ME!?

Suga: The asshole broke Tsuki's phone at some point.

Yamaguchi: I'M ON MY WAY 😭😭

Oikawa: 👀🍵

Tendou: 🍵

Daishou: 🍵

Atsumu: 🍵

Kenma: I'm confessing to Kuro today.

Akaashi: I-

Oikawa: HOLY SHIT

Shirabu: Woah how random.

Atsumu: GET YOUR MANS SIS 😘

Suna: Good luck.

Tendou: THE TEA IS HOT TODAY 🍵🍵

Yaku: Well that's scary.

Hinata: YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!!

Hanamaki: (´⊙ω⊙`)！

Noya: LETS GO LETS GO KENMA

Kunimi: Yay!

Goshiki: YAAAAAAAY (◍•ᴗ•◍)❤

Hoshiumi: AHHHHHHHH GOOD LUCK 😬

Suga: YOU FUCKERS OWE ME 10 BUCKS 💰💰

Komori: Damn it one of you should have fucked.

Daishou: UGHHHHHHH ONE OF YOU SHOULD HAVE DIED

Oikawa: 😧

Hinata: 😧

Atsumu: 😧

Daishou: I said what I said 😶

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's go let's go Kenma
> 
> Follow me on Twitter @IsHaikyuu for sneak peeks of future chapters/stories I'm writing/ect.
> 
> If you have Discord friend me @Dadchi #2660 I accept literally everyone 😂


	5. The one where KuroKen becomes cannon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kenma gets his shit together 😂

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This update is only in existence because it's my little sisters birthday 😍😘😍😘😍😘 Wish her a happy birthday or I'll 🔫👀
> 
> Follow me on Twitter @IsHaikyuu for sneak peeks of future chapters/stories I'm writing/ect.
> 
> If you have Discord friend me @Dadchi #2660 I accept literally everyone 😂

Beautiful bottoms who are in love with our best friends but can't make a move because they all have lovers 😭  
4:25 PM

Suna: If we all gave Hinata a centimeter of our bones he wouldn't be short anymore

Hinata: Keep your bones away from me.

Kenma: ...Are you high?

Hanamaki: Suna is that a WeEd!?

Suna: No it's a crayon-

Hanamaki: I'M CALLING THE POLICE

Suna: *Shocked pikachu face*

Akaashi: He's definitely high.

Shirabu: Dude you should have invited me

Akaashi: ^

Yaku: We're all athletes here. We shouldn't be smoking marijuana.

Suna: You're saying that, but you want to join us huh?

Yaku: ...

Kenma: I can't believe I'm doing this.

Hinata: YOU GOT THIS KENMA!!!

Hoshiumi: Why does Hinata get your bones 😒

Hanamaki: ...Do you want them? 

Hoshiumi: I'm coming for your bones.

Suna: lmao

Hinata: ... I'm deeply disturbed by this conversation.

Suga: Stop scaring the children 😠

Daishou: Back to Kenma before things get weird again.

Suna: Lol not on my watch.

Komori: Only Suna passes the vibe check 😂

Kenma: Pay attention to me 😠😠

Kenma: I'm having a gay crisis and my own friends are ignoring me.

Hanamaki: Welcome to the Kenma's gay crisis hotline, how may we help you???

Kenma: Honestly, fuck all y'all

Hoshiumi: y'all

Atsumu: y'all

Oikawa: y'all

Suga: y'all

Tendou: And I thought we were the country bumkins 😂

Akaashi: woo go Kenma.

Kenma: Akaashi is my only friend here.

Hinata: 😧

Kenma: I said what I said 😒

Hinata: 😧😧😧😧

Kenma: N e gays.

Kenma: I'M CONFESSING TO KURO TODAY

Akaashi: Yes we are aware.

Kenma: Ugh but hoooooooow????

Shirabu: Through text.

Kenma: Oh obviously, but hoooooooow????

Suna: Do it as a 'prank' so if it fails you can just blame it on that.

Oikawa: Woah that's actually smart 😮

Noya: I should do that to Asahi...

Kunimi: Just get on with it you coward.

Kenma: I know where you live.

Kunimi: 😒

Goshiki: I BELIEVE IN YOU KENMA!!!

Goshiki: And if Kuroo rejects you I'll kill him 🙃

Yamaguchi: Woah.

Daishou: Honestly I love Shiki's energy. It's the perfect balance between Peace, Laugh, Love and I'll fucking rip your face off bitch 😂

Komori: I am kin with Goshiki and Suna today 😂😂😂

Kenma: If I'm going to do it, so will all of you.

Oikawa: No 😂

Shirabu: Absolutely not.

Akaashi: Sorry friend, but no way.

Atsumu: I prefer my heart in my chest and not stomped into the dirt, thank you 😂

Suna: I'm not high enough for that

Tendou: Ushi wouldn't even understand me 😞

Yaku: Mmm no.

Hinata: 😱😱

Hanamaki: AHAHAHAHAHAHA no.

Noya: Maybe soon...

Kunimi: Don't use us as an excuse to not do it, coward.

Kenma: Call me a coward again and it's on sight 🙃

Kunimi: Then stop being a coward 🙃

Goshiki: I...I don't think I can confess to kogane 😞

Suga: These poor babies...

Komori: These poor oblivious babies...

Daishou: These stupid, oblivious idiots 😴

Yamaguchi: Honestly, there just oblivious and idiots.

Oikawa: 😧

Atsumu: 😧

Tendou: 😧

Hinata: 😧

Kenma: Okay. Ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok I'm ready.

Akaashi: woo.

Suga: Send us screenshots of the convo!!

Kunimi: DO IT ALREADY, DAMN

Kenma: FUCK YOU

Kunimi: NO FUCK YOU

Kenma: NO FUCK ME

Kunimi: NO FUCK- what

Kenma: I win ✨

Kunimi: Fuck.

\-----------------------------

Kuroo and Kenma  
4:51 PM

Kenma: Hey...

Kuroo: Woah what?

Kenma: What?

Kuroo: Is this Kenma?

Kenma: .....Yeah???

Kuroo: NO YOU'RE NOT WHO TF ARE YOU

Kenma: LITERALLY WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!?

Kuroo: Kenma never texts first 😾

Kenma: ...I hate you.

Kuroo: Nope that's Kenma.

Kuroo: What's up?

Kenma: I-

Kenma: Ugh

Kenma: I kinda need to talk to you.

Kenma: But I don't know how to say it.

Kuroo: Hmm

Kuroo: Just say what's on your mind and I'll piece it together.

Kenma: Remember when we were kids and I invited you to play my game?

Kuroo: Lol yeah that was shocking! You never let anyone near your games 😂

Kenma: I-

Kenma: I um...we were playing this round and like...I suddenly wanted to look at you

Kuroo: Oh? Was I hot 🔥😂

Kenma: Shut up

Kenma: You were just...so focused. Your forehead had these little wrinkles and you were biting your lip so hard

Kuroo: So you wanted to text me about how ugly I was as a kid?? Okay???

Kenma: Ugh SHUT UP

Kuroo: 🤐

Kenma: And well, it was funny but then I looked into your eyes and realized they were... actually really beautiful

Kuroo: I-

Kenma: That was the first thing I noticed about you. Over the years, I just kept on learning so many new things about you.

Kenma: How you glare when you read because your vision sucks. How you play with your hands when you're nervous. How you mess with your hair for hours but end up messing it up more.

Kuroo: Kenma...

Kenma: All those small things, it drew me in until all I could look at was you. I wanted to find out every little thing about you because all that made up someone amazing.

Kenma: Someone I fell in love with, and keep falling in love with every single day...

Kuroo: KENMA

Kenma: There has never been anyone else for me, I knew you were the man I wanted to grow old with since we were children

Kuroo: KENMA WAIT

Kenma: Please let me say this Kuro. I... don't think I'll ever have the courage again.

Kuroo: ...

Kenma: I love you Kuroo Tetsurou. I love you, I love you, I love you.

Kuroo: ... Am I allowed to speak now?

Kenma: ...Yeah.

Kuroo: Cool.

Kuroo: HOLY SHIT

Kuroo: WHAT YOU ACTUALLY LOVE ME

Kuroo: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Kenma: I- um are you okay?

Kuroo: AM I OKAY!?!?!?

Kuroo: I'M FUCKING EXHILARATED!!!

Kuroo: YOU LOVE ME!!!

Kenma: Yeah I do.

Kuroo: Okay wait. I get to speak now.

Kenma: Okay.

Kuroo: Do you have any idea what you mean to me?

Kuroo: I would literally tare out my heart and give it to you on my knees.

Kuroo: I think it was our first sleepover. We were laying in bed and talking about volleyball when we turned on our sides at the same time

Kuroo: Suddenly we were nose to nose and you were sharing my breath and my heart just exploded. When you fell asleep...I just lied there staring at you

Kuroo: I knew I was in love with you when I thought 'I want to fall asleep next to him for the rest of my life'

Kuroo: It isn't a huge, earth shaking story, but I felt like it fit you perfectly.

Kuroo: I love you Kenma. I love you so much.

Kenma: I- But...what about your girlfriend?

Kuroo: Oh. Lol we broke up. Apparently I'm not allowed to go to exotic islands without her and I sHoUlD hAve tHoUghT oF hEr fIrsT lolol

Kenma: I'm sorry

Kuroo: NO DON'T BE I ONLY DATED HER BECAUSE I THOUGHT YOU WERE STRAIGHT

Kenma: WHY DO YOU KEEP SAYING THAT MY BLOOD IS LITERALLY THE COLOR OF THE RAINBOW 🏳️🌈

Kuroo: YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TOLD ME THAT!! IDK IDK IDK COME OVER SO I CAN KISS YOU

Kenma: I'M ALREADY HERE OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR

Kuroo: I- I love you so much 😍

Kenma: I love you too ❤️

Kenma: So are we boyfriends?

Kuroo: ...

Kuroo: Kenma is my boyfriend.

Kuroo: KENMA IS MY BOYFRIEND

Kuroo: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Kenma: So I guess that's a yes.

Kuroo: AHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHH

Kenma: Shut up and kiss me.

Kuroo: 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😘

Kenma: ...😘

Kenma: But in real life you nerd

\-----------------------------------

Beautiful bottoms who are in love with our best friends but can't make a move because they all have lovers 😭  
5:19 PM

Kenma: *Screenshots sent*

Kenma: GUESS WHO HAS A BOYFRIEND!?

Oikawa: AHHHHHHHHH THAT WAS SO CUTE 😭😍

Shirabu: Woah congrats.

Akaashi: WOOOOOOOO

Atsumu: YOU LUCKY BASTARD 😍😍😍

Suna: This is probably the best day of my life.

Tendou: THAT WAS SO PURE, SO CUTE, SO SO AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Tendou: THAT SIMPLE LOVE STORY, HOLY SHITTTTTTT 😍😍😍😍

Yaku: I'm so proud of you two

Hinata: 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍

Hinata: THAT TEXT KISS 😍 I WANT THAT 😍😍

Hanamaki: Well, one less sad boy in the chat I guess

Noya: THAT COULD BE ME BUT ASAHI'S STRAIGHT 😭😭

Kunimi: Well look at that, the coward became a man.

Kenma: I hate you so much.

Kunimi: You know I'm one of your favorite people, don't lie.

Kenma: ...

Kenma: Shut up.

Goshiki: AHHHH GOOD JOB THAT MUST HAVE BEEN SO SCARY 💓

Kenma: IT WASSSS KUROO WAS ALL LIKE HOLY SHIT AND I WAS 😱😱

Hoshiumi: Wow Kenma has more balls than all of us combined 😂

Daishou: Are you sure about that

Suga: I believe Kenma said you all have to do it if he does it.

Yamaguchi: Pull on your big boy pants, we're getting you all a man 😃

Shirabu: I prefer I stay in my little boy pants, thank you.

Hinata: Komori has been really quiet...

Hanamaki: Sus

Komori: Oh me?

Komori: I've just been inputting all of your names into this number app 😂

Oikawa: ...Why?

Shirabu: Sus

Atsumu: Sus 😬

Suna: Sus

Shirabu: Enough Among Us slang.

Kenma: Lol but actually, sus

Shirabu: I hate it here.

Komori: Okay! Everyone is in.

Akaashi: I don't even know what this is, but no I'm not.

Yaku: I already have a migraine.

Komori: So the rules are, everyone is assigned a number!

Komori: the numbers are:  
Oikawa- 1  
Shirabu- 2  
Akaashi- 3  
Atsumu- 4  
Suna- 5  
Tendou- 6  
Yaku- 7  
Hinata- 8  
Hanamaki- 9  
Nishinoya- 10  
Kunimi- 11  
Goshiki- 12  
Hoshiumi- 13  
Daishou- 14  
Komori- 15

Oikawa: I'm #1 (✿ ♡‿♡)

Shirabu: Well well well, look who also has man problems.

Daishou: Square up bitch.

Komori: Moving on. The app will choose a random number and the person who has the number has to confess.

Akaashi: Why.

Kenma: Ha.

Atsumu: Literally what did I ever do to you?

Oikawa: (ʘᴗʘ)

Suna left the group chat

Komori added: Suna Rintarou to the group chat

Suna left the group chat

Komori added: Suna Rintarou to the group chat

Suna: UGH

Komori: No escape (◍•ᴗ•◍)❤

Oikawa: I shouldn't have created this chat.

Tendou: I am perfectly happy being a sad, lonely piece of gay shit.

Yaku: That entire sentence contradicts itself.

Yaku: But same.

Hinata: Just say you want me dead.

Hinata: KAGS WILL MURDER ME ༎ຶ‿༎ຶ

Hanamaki: I don't know how to feel about this. YES but also NO ಥ_ಥ

Noya: Imma pull a Kenma and stop existing. Dead people can't confess (｡•̀ᴗ-)👍

Kunimi: ...I don't want to.

Kenma: Pussy coward.

Kunimi: Stupid blond ass bitch.

Kenma: Lazy annoying pussy bitch.

Kunimi: It takes one to know one.

Kenma: Real mature.

Goshiki: OH MY GOD SHUT UP

Oikawa: 😮

Tendou: 😮

Goshiki: CALL EACH OTHER NAMES ONE MORE TIME AND IMMA SHIRATORI- WHIP YOUR ASS

Daishou: 😂😂😂😂

Kenma: 🤐

Kunimi: 🤐

Goshiki: Thank you 😊

Hoshiumi: Shiki's a lil scary.

Suga: He said what had to be said 💅

Daishou: But honestly, Terushima's too much of an idiot to confess to.

Yamaguchi: Who do you like Komori?

Komori: My adorable captain Iizuna 😍

Suga: Well at least we're not in this 😂

Yamaguchi: 😂

Kenma: 😂

Akaashi: Stop flaunting your relationships you bastards, it's disrespectful.

Kenma: To you.

Akaashi: It's disrespectful in general.

Suga: To you.

Yamaguchi: To you 😂

Komori: THE NUMBER IS BEING CHOSEN!!

Oikawa: OH SHIT WE'RE ALREADY DOING THIS!?

Suna: I'M NOT HIGH ENOUGH FOR THIS

Tendou: AUDGUEHFKSIXGWBHDKC

Oikawa: THAT KEYBOARD SMASH IS SO UGLY 😭

Komori: LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Hinata: WHAT WHO IS IT!?

Komori: IT

Komori: IS

Shirabu: JUST FUCKING SAY IT YOU PIECE OF SHIT

Komori: Number 1 u w u

Oikawa left the group chat

Kenma added: Oikawa Tooru to the group chat

Oikawa left the group chat

Daishou added: Oikawa Tooru to the group chat

Oikawa: Dai-Chan-

Daishou: I'm sorry sis, it's you're time.

Oikawa: I REGRET MAKING THIS CHAT 😭😭😭

\---------------------------------  
Strong Tops who are in love with our best friends but can't do anything because they are straight 😠  
5:35 PM

Kuroo added: Kozume Kenma to the group chat

Semi: What-

Kenma: This chat name 😂

Kuroo: GUESS WHO JUST GOT A MOTHERFUCKIN BOYFRIEND

Kenma: Woo

Iwaizumi: Hey congrats man!

Bokuto: HEY HEY HEY THAT'S MY MAN!!!

Sakusa: Congratulations.

Osamu: Lucky bastard

Ushijima: I wish you a happy life.

Lev: YAAAAAAAY I'M SHO HAPPY FOR YOU 😭😭

Kageyama: Woo

Matsukawa: GET IT KUROO!! 😘😘

Asahi: Yay! 😊

Kindaichi: YAYAYAYAYAYA!!

Kogane: AHHHHHHHHH THIS IS THE BEST NEWS EVER!!!!!

Sachirou: Congratulations.

Daichi: When did I even get added into this chat?

Iizuna: Same.

Terushima: YEAAAAAH LETS GO PUDDING HEAD!!!! 🍮

Tsukishima: Congrats.

Kenma: Why did you add me into this chat? I'm not a top-

Kuroo: So everyone knows I have a cute, amazing boyfriend with amazing thighs and they don't (~￣³￣)~

Iwaizumi: I take that back. Fuck you.

Bokuto: BRO ಥ‿ಥ

Semi: Wow.

Sakusa: He just had to ruin it.

Kenma: Well now that I'm here, let me just say something real quick before I leave.

Lev: Yes?

Kenma: NONE OF US ARE STRAIGHT

Kenma left the group chat

Iwaizumi: Wait what-

Semi: WAIT

Bokuto: AKAASHI ISN'T STRAIGHT!? WHAAAAAT!?

Kuroo: My man did his damage and just left 😂😂

Sakusa: I- What?

Osamu: But the party!?

Ushijima: They told us they were straight.

Lev: Captain I am CONFUSION

Kageyama: ...

Matsukawa: So I CAN rail Makki?

Asahi: Well yes but actually no...

Kindaichi: Woah. I wish my team got their crap together like that

Iwaizumi: FUCK YOU

Kogane: I still can't confess, we're from different schools ( ･ั﹏･ั)

Sachirou: Interesting.

Iizuna: Komori never said he was straight??

Terushima: Yeah. What's going on?

Tsukishima: Why is everyone in this chat so dumb?

Daichi: Usually I make it a personal goal never to agree with the dinosaur...but he's right.

Tsukishima: Wow.

Kuroo: So who's going to grow a pair of balls and confess to the love of their lives??? 😂

Bokuto removed: Kuroo Tetsurou from the group chat

Semi: LMAO-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> JSHEJXNKSJX WHY DID I MAKE IT SO SAD.🥺 WISH HER A HAPPY BIRTHDAY OR IT WOULD HAVE TAKEN ANOTHER 10000 WORDS FOR THE FIRST SHIP TO GET TOGETHER!!! (Also, RIP Oikawa)
> 
> Follow me on Twitter @IsHaikyuu for sneak peeks of future chapters/stories I'm writing/ect.
> 
> If you have Discord friend me @Dadchi #2660 I accept literally everyone 😂


	6. Let's go to fucking Vegas 1/2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oikawa gets sick and the bottoms go to Las Vegas. Oh and Oikawa confesses 🤷
> 
> Part 1/2 of IwaOi confession arc. 
> 
> Happy New Years!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Imma just warn you now...this isn't going to go the way you think 😬
> 
> Also, if you saw me replying to comments instead of writing like a responsible author...no you didn't 
> 
> Happy New Years homos!!  
> ...I mean homies.  
> ...No I didn't 😂
> 
> Follow me on Twitter @IsHaikyuu for sneak peeks of future chapters/stories I'm writing/ect.
> 
> If you have Discord friend me @Dadchi #2660 I accept literally everyone 😂
> 
> Part 1/2 of IwaOi confession arc.

Beautiful bottoms who are in love with our best friends but can't make a move because they all have lovers 😭  
4:17 PM 

Oikawa: Guess who caught a cold 😀😀

Tendou: Poor bb 😞

Atsumu: You better get well soon or you'll CATCH these hands 😡

Daishou: Then you can't go with us 😧😭

Shirabu: Can't believe you're missing out on a chance to go to Vegas. Sucks to suck I guess 😂

Akaashi: We'll get you gifts. 

Oikawa: I WANNA GO TO LAS VEGAS!!! 😭😭😭

Tendou: I'M SORRY BB BUT YOU'LL KILL US 😭😭😭😭

Suna: Why are we leaving the country this time? 

Tendou: A buddy of mine wants us there for his wedding 🤵

Yaku: A wedding in Vegas. Sounds sus to me. 

Hinata: Wow Tendou! You have such cool friends!! 

Hanamaki: We need to let the others know so they don't follow after us again 😬

Atsumu: I wonder why they came after us last time? They could have just called out parents/schools or something. 

Noya: LAS VEGAS LAS VEGAS LAS VEGAS 

Kunimi: I think I'll pass, thanks. 

Goshiki: I want Kogane to come with us! 

Hoshiumi: No crushes allowed on this trip, sorry. 

Suga: ...Am I coming to? 

Komori: ^ 

Daishou: ^^

Yamaguchi: ^^^ 

Tendou: Of course? Did you think I'd just leave my queens out of this?? 

Oikawa: So I guess no one cares about me. 

Oikawa: So everyone just wants me dead. 

Oikawa: It's fine, it's fine. 

Atsumu: No bb we just can't travel with sick cargo ❤️

Komori: I'm putting on my Vegas shirt. 

Daishou: Y-Your what? 

Komori: Okay, one thing you all need to know before going to Vegas. 

Komori: One: DON'T ask questions. 

Daishou: Noted. 

Komori: TWO: What happens in Vegas STAYS in Vegas. 

Shirabu: I have a bad feeling. 

Suna: This is about to become some Hangover 2 shit. 

Akaashi: What? 

Suna: Do none of you watch American movies? 

Kenma: Dude let's watch it. 

Suna: come over and get high with me, we'll have a movie marathon too! 

Kenma: I'm omw 🏃💨

Akaashi: 🏃💨

Atsumu: 🏃💨

Tendou: 🏃💨

Yaku: I'm coming. 

Hinata: Can I come too? I don't want to get high, I just want to hang out with everyone ☺️

Suna: Literally everyone get over here right now. 

Hanamaki: I'll bring the beer-

Noya: This is going to be a wild, wild New Years 😂

Kunimi: I'm always down for some marijuana. 

Goshiki: ...I kinda wanna come. 

Hoshiumi: 🏃💨

Suga: I should stop this before it gets too wild but I'm not 😂 I'm omw 

Komori: 🏃💨

Daishou: It's been so long since I last saw my queens 👸👑

Yamaguchi: This is going to be so fun!! 

Oikawa: I hate everyone. 

Oikawa: This is going to be the worst year ever 😭

Atsumu: I love you baby ❤️

Daishou: You're my main queen Babykawa ❤️❤️

Tendou: None of this is going to be completely fun without you ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Oikawa: I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH 😭❤️❤️❤️❤️

Oikawa: GO GET DRUNK AND HIGH FOR ME OKAY!! 

Oikawa: And I guess I'll just spend my New Years with Iwa-chan u w u 

Yaku: Oh? 

Oikawa: He came over and is nursing me back to health!! My own doctor Iwa-chan!!! 

Shirabu: Sounds kinky but okay. 

Oikawa: SHIRA-CHAN!!!! 

Shirabu: That's so ugly. 

\--------------------------------  
Stop blowing up that chat I'm trying to sleep  
2:31 PM 

Tendou: We're on the plane to VEGAS!! ✈️

Ushijima: Have fun. 

Shirabu: I'm already hating this. 

Semi: Then come back?? 

Shirabu: Sure let me just go tell the plane to turn around- YOU IDIOT 🙄

Semi: FUCK YOU 

Shirabu: NO FUCK YOU 

Semi: NO FUCK YOU!!! 

Shirabu: NO FUCK ME

Semi: DON'T YOU FUCKING TEMPT ME YOU LITTLE SHIT 

Shirabu: WHY THE FUCK DID THAT WORK FOR KENMA AND KUNIMI AND NOT US!?

Akaashi: Turn off your caps. 

Bokuto: AGAASHI!! 

Akaashi: Ugh. 

Kenma: In this chat we type with our caps ON. 

Kuroo: Baby why are you active on this chat but ignoring me on ours?? 

Kenma: You literally sent a dick pic, how am I supposed to answer that? 

Kuroo: I think you know what I want 😉

Kenma: No. I'm on a plane. 

Kuroo: BABY😭😭😭 

Kenma: Nevermind, in this chat we type with our caps off. 

Atsumu: Well you sure jumped boats real quick 😂😂

Sakusa: Hmm. 

Bokuto: HOLY SHIT WHERE DID HE COME FROM!? 

Kuroo: SAKUBRO I'VE BEEN TEXTING YOU ALL DAY WHY DO YOU ONLY REPLY WHEN ATSUMU TEXTS!?!? 

Sakusa: I think the Nickname explains why I ignore you actually. 

Atsumu: SAKUBRO 😂😂😂

Sakusa: Shut up 'Tsumu. 

Atsumu: Sure sure Omi-kun 😂

Kuroo: I hate nicknames he says. Nicknames are annoying he says. 

Sakusa: Shut up Kuroo. 

Kuroo: 😭😭😭😭

Suna: I don't think I'm high enough for this. 

Osamu: Lol you're typing with proper grammer? Definitely not high enough 😂

Suna: Too bad I'm on a plane. I would punch you in the face right now. 

Osamu: Woah, bad night? 

Suna: Tendou, Daishou and Atsumu were over. It went about as well as you'd expect. 

Tendou: Aka it was LIT 🔥🔥

Ushijima: What is lit? If there is a fire on the plane you should inform an assistant. 

Tendou: Wow you're so dense. 

Ushijima: I do not understand. 

Tendou: But that's why I love you Ushi ❤️

Ushijima: I love you as well. You are my best friend.

Tendou: 😭

Yaku: That conversation literally hurt. 

Lev: YAKU!!!!! 

Yaku: Lev. 

Lev: BE SAFE VEGAS IS SO SCARY 😭😭

Yaku: If anyone messes with us I'll kick their asses. 

Lev: I know you will you're so brave Yaku (*´ω｀*)

Yaku: I- thank you. 

Hinata: BAKAGEYAMA TELL ME TO BE SAFE TOO!!! 

Kageyama: SHUT UP YOU SHIT!! YOU BETTER BE FUCKING SAFE

Hinata: DON'T SAY SHIT SAY POOP

Kageyama: SHIT

Hinata: POOP 

Kageyama: UGH JUST BE SAFE

Hinata: I will ❤️

Hanamaki: @Matsukawa Riding a plane is cool, but I'd much rather ride you instead 

Matsukawa: ... Fuck. BRB. 

Hanamaki: Where did he go? 

Kuroo: Probably to the bathroom 😂

Hanamaki: Okay? Tell me if anything's wrong 

Kuroo: Or if things get a little... slippery 😂😩

Matsukawa: SHUT UP YOU ROOSTER 

Kuroo: HUUUUH!? GO BACK TO DOING THE SLIPPY TIPPY 

Noya: LMAOOOOOO 

Asahi: Noya don't contribute to this. 

Noya: But Asahi this is a gold mine 😂😂

Kunimi: I hate it here. 

Kindaichi: You hate it everywhere. 

Kunimi: I hate planes more. 

Kunimi: It's so tight. 

Atsumu: ... THAT'S WHAT HE SAID 😂😂😂

Kunimi: ...I hate everything. 

Goshiki: KOGANE KOGANE KOGANE!!! 

Kogane: SHIKI SHIKI SHIKI!!! 

Goshiki: I WISH YOU COULD HAVE WENT WITH US 😭😭

Kogane: I KNOW BUT I'M SPENDING THE BREAK WITH FAMILY 😭😭

Goshiki: TELL MAMA-KOGANE HI!!! 

Kogane: I WILL ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Hoshiumi: It's almost scary how pure Shiki becomes around Kogane. 

Sachirou: Isn't he always like this? 

Hoshiumi: GOSHIKI!? PURE!? 

Goshiki: 😶🙃

Hoshiumi: I MEAN YES

Hoshiumi: HE'S ALWAYS A PURE, INNOCENT ANGEL 😇

Goshiki: 😇

Sachirou: I see. Be safe Hoshiumi. 

Hoshiumi: I will, be safe too though!! 

Sachirou: Of course. Thank you. 

Suga: Daichi I'm going to VEGAS!!! 

Daichi: Yes you are. 

Suga: THIS IS GOING TO BE SO COOL!!! 

Daichi: You're so cute when you're excited ❤️

Suga: ❤️ WE'RE GOING TO WASTE ALL OF OUR MONEY AT CASINOS AND PARTY OURSELVES INTO A COMA!!! ❤️

Daichi: That's not so cute. BE SAFE YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE THE SANE ONE!!! 

Suga: I'm not Sugamama on this trip. I'm party like an animal Suga 😂😂

Daichi: I'm starting to get slightly worried. 

Iizuna: Same. 

Terushima: HONESTLY, SAME!? 

Tsukishima: Watch those idiots Yams. 

Yamaguchi: I will ❤️

Tsukishima: ❤️

Komori: You know I won't be too wild Iizuna! 

Iizuna: ...I trust you. 

Daishou: You're just jealous you couldn't come to Vegas with me party animal Teru 😂😘

Terushima: Well yes but actually no

Terushima: JUST BE SAFE YOU SNAKE

Daishou: DON'T CALL ME A SNAKE YOU OVEREXCITED DOG

Terushima: HUUUUH!? AT LEAST I'M A CUTE DOG AND NOT A SNAKE!! 

Daishou: You're not wrong. 

Terushima: HUH!? 

Daishou: If you were a snake you would probably be the ugliest thing in existence 🤷

Terushima: Oh. I thought you were calling me cute...

Terushima: WAIT WHAT YOU ASSHOLE

Tendou: This could go on for hours. 

Shirabu: Please shut up. 

Semi: Woah he said please. 

Shirabu: I'm working on my respect. 

Semi: GOOD

Shirabu: Lol not for you 😂 for literally everyone else BUT you 😂😂😂😂

Semi: WHAT DID I EVER DO TO YOU!? 

Shirabu: 🤷

Atsumu: Oikawa's been weirdly quiet recently. Too quiet. 

Oikawa: That's because I'm dead. 

Kenma: Same. 

Kenma: But also, what? 

Oikawa: I'm so sick everything hurts. 

Oikawa: It's hard to type because everything's blurry. 

Tendou: Oh my poor baby 💔

Atsumu: Where's Iwa-chan? I thought he was nursing you back to health

Iwa-chan: That dumbass sent me home

Oikawa: I don't want you to get sick too Iwa. 

Iwa-chan: I DON'T FUCKING CARE IF I GET SICK I JUST WANT YOU TO GET BETTER

Oikawa: Don't yell at me. 

Iwa-chan: Shit I'm sorry. I'm just really worried about you. Please let me come over and help you

Oikawa: No way Iwa-chan. I'll be better in a day or so and then you can come over. 

Daishou: Baby are you there all alone? What if you get hurt or something!? 

Oikawa: It's fine. I can't get off the bed to get hurt

Iwa-chan: Shit have you even eaten today?

Oikawa: Yes. 

Iwa-chan: Wow I don't believe that for a second. I'm making soup and coming over

Oikawa: Iwaizumi if you come over I won't forgive you. 

Iwa-chan: I- IWAIZUMI!? 

Iwa-chan: FINE I WONT YOU JERK. STARVE FOR ALL I CARE 

Shirabu: Woah. That was weirdly tense. 

Akaashi: We should check on him on the chat. 

Kenma: Yeah. 

Atsumu: NO MY BABY COME BACK!!! 

\------------------------------  
Beautiful bottoms who are in love with our best friends but can't make a move because they all have lovers 😭  
2:48 PM

Atsumu: KAWA WHAT JUST HAPPENED!?

Tendou: Do we need to turn this plane around and commit murder??? 🙃🔪

Daishou: I'm always prepared to hide a body ☺️

Shirabu: Wow they're a little scary. 

Suna: lol don't mess with the queen 👑

Oikawa: WAIT NO DON'T KILL HIM!!!

Akaashi: Are you okay? 

Kenma: What's happening over there in Japan? We literally just left. 

Oikawa: ugh. UGH I HATE YOU KOMORI 

Komori: 😦😧😟😭 Hearts been broken so many times. 

Yaku: Woah what'd you do now? 

Hinata: 😟😟 Why do we hate each other?

Oikawa: Because of you I have to confess to Iwa-chan. I CAN'T EVEN LOOK AT HIM ANYMORE BECAUSE I'M SO SCARED 

Oikawa: BEING AROUND HIM MAKES IT HARD TO BREATH AND I SHOULD NEVER FEEL LIKE THAT AROUND MY IWA

Oikawa: I'm so scared... 

Tendou: That's it. We're turning this plane around. 

Atsumu: I'll literally jump out of this plane to get to you bb 😭

Daishou: Damn you're starting to make me scared for when it's my turn... 

Hanamaki: Woah so that's why you kicked Iwa-chan out of your house 

Noya: Okay but...is that fair to Iwa-chan? 

Oikawa: I- 

Oikawa: I don't want him around because seeing me like that will hurt him

Kunimi: ...Damn cap you're dumb af 

Oikawa: KUNI-CHAN!!! 

Hanamaki: We got this handled boys, our captain is just being dumb 

Goshiki: Is he though?? Confessing is a scary, scary thing. He doesn't want to hurt Iwa, especially since they're childhood friends. 

Kunimi: You don't want him around because it'll hurt him but you're already hurting him by ignoring him. 

Hanamaki: Lol even if he doesn't have feelings for you, you have always been the most important person to Iwa-chan. Let him come over and take care of you, I'm sure sitting around is killing him 😂

Hoshiumi: Wow we're getting deep into the feels today... 

Suga: Listen to them Oikawa. It isn't safe to be sick alone, let him come over. 

Komori: If it makes you feel any better...

Komori: It was either this or go off to college or whatever and possibly be split up. At least this way you're taking the jump, where you land is up to you 

Daishou: That was weirdly philosophical 

Yamaguchi: Woah I can't believe you know such a big word snake 

Daishou: I'm not afraid to square up with a strawberry. 

Oikawa: Okay...

Oikawa: Okay I'll ask him 

Oikawa: Thank you guys. I'm just being paranoid because all of you will be across the world and it'll be just me and him...

Shirabu: Then don't confess until we get back. 

Akaashi: Yeah just focus on getting better. 

Kenma: And if you get too lonely text Kuroo. I'm sure he'll be happy to bug you for a few hours. 

Oikawa: ...

Oikawa: I'm not waiting any longer 

Atsumu: Oikawa what? 

Suna: Oh shit we shouldn't have left. 

Tendou: Baby you're sick you don't know what you're doing. Go back to sleep and we'll talk about this again later. 

Oikawa: I'm doing this. If I don't I won't have the courage to ever again! 

Oikawa: I'll send screenshots when I'm done...bye. 

Yaku: I'm scared for him. 

Hinata: Yeah my belly is all tight! 😟

Hanamaki: I think my heart is about to explode actually. Idk if that's safe for flight. 

Noya: He can do this. He CAN do this. HE CAN DO THIS!?! 

Kunimi: I kinda feel like barfing right now. I can't tell if it's because we're flying or because of Oikawa. 

Goshiki: Our poor Oikawa...😭

Hoshiumi: Well if Iwa breaks Oikawa's heart Vegas is the perfect place to hide a body 🔪

Suga: Remember, what happens in Vegas STAYS in Vegas. 

Komori: I'm feeling slightly guilty for forcing you all into this...

Daishou: Eh it was bound to happen eventually. That or we all would have died alone 🤷

Yamaguchi: In this chat, having a man makes you feel like a black sheep 😬

Suga: Ikr 

Kenma: Lol can't relate. 

Shirabu: Stable relationships aren't allowed in this chat. 

Suna: Gross. People with their lives together 🤢🤮

Hanamaki: Wow that's a lot of salt. 

Tendou: EVERYONE SHUT YOUR FACES I'M TOO SCARED FOR THIS 

Atsumu: AHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHH

Daishou: I AM TOO BUT I THOUGHT WE WEREN'T GOING TO SAY ANYTHING

Kenma: WHY ARE WE ALL TYPING IN CAPS AGAIN 

Akaashi: AT THIS POINT WE SHOULD JUST QUIT TRYING TO STOP THEM. 

Goshiki: This chat is the embodiment of gay panic. 

\--------------------------------

Iwaizumi and Oikawa  
3:05 PM 

Oikawa: Iwa-chan... 

Iwa-chan: Oh so now I'm Iwa again? 

Oikawa: I'm sorry for being mean. I'm just so scared 😟

Iwa-chan: Scared? What's wrong? What's scaring you? I'm coming over right now. 

Oikawa: Iwa please wait a minute. I want to say something... 

Iwa-chan: I made chicken soup and bought medicine and got the heated blanket 

Oikawa: Iwa-chan

Iwa-chan: Do you think we need more medicine? Shit we do, I'll make another store run- 

Oikawa: IWAIZUMI!! 

Iwa-chan: SHIT STOP CALLING ME THAT 

Oikawa: I- I need to talk to you! Please let me say this before you decide wether you want to come over or not 

Iwa-chan: ...5 minutes. I'm coming over in 5 minutes. 

Oikawa: Okay. 

Oikawa: Okay ok ok ok I can do this

Iwa-chan: Oikawa? You ok? 

Oikawa: I guess I should just rip the band-aid off. 

Iwa-chan: What a weird metaphor- 

Oikawa: Hajime I love you. 

Iwa-chan: I- what? 

Oikawa: Iwa I'm in love with you. I have been since we were children. 

Iwa-chan: Wait... 

Oikawa: I used to dream about marrying you and being your husband but now I dream about spending the rest of my life with you 

Iwa-chan: Oikawa stop... 

Oikawa: I thought if I just waited it out, my love for you would go away but it has only grown stronger. I want to be your boyfriend and kiss you and cuddle you before we go to sleep every night. I want to move in together with you and adopt our first animal together. I've fallen for you hard Hajime. I love-

Iwa-chan: OIKAWA FUCKING STOP IT 

Oikawa: I- 

Oikawa: What?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm ready to be murdered.
> 
> IWA WHAT THE FUCKKKKKK!? LET THE MAN CONFESS YOU IDIOT!! Sorry about this😂 I planned on making everything fluffy and funny for all of the confessions but I don't want this story to get boring! Keep in mind that Oikawa is SICK and Iwa is a gay idiot 😂😂
> 
> I love and stan my queen Oikawa Tooru, so don't come @ me 😬
> 
> HAPPY NEW YEARS 🎊✨
> 
> Follow me on Twitter @IsHaikyuu for sneak peeks of future chapters/stories I'm writing/ect.
> 
> If you have Discord friend me @Dadchi #2660 I accept literally everyone 😂


	7. Let's go to fucking Vegas 2/2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oikawa deals with Iwaizumi the only way he knows how, by being a queen 👑

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol that cliffhanger tho. I didn't want to leave it there but things do be like that sometimes 😂
> 
> Follow me on Twitter @IsHaikyuu for sneak peeks of future chapters/stories I'm writing/ect.
> 
> If you have Discord friend me @Dadchi #2660 I accept literally everyone 😂

Iwaizumi and Oikawa  
3:10 PM 

Oikawa: What? 

Iwa-chan: Shit. 

Iwa-chan: I'm coming over with the medicine. 

Oikawa: Don't you change the subject... 

Oikawa: Tell me why you stopped me from confessing to you. 

Iwa-chan: I- 

Iwa-chan: Ugh this is the worst. 

Oikawa: So me telling you I love you is the worst? Wow okay. 

Iwa-chan: NO YOU IDIOT! 

Oikawa: DON'T YOU FUCKING CALL ME AN IDIOT RIGHT NOW 

Iwa-chan: UGH 

Iwa-chan: You don't know what you're talking about right now Oikawa. You're sick and delusional. Now let me come over and help. 

Oikawa: ... 

Oikawa: How dare you. 

Oikawa: Don't you EVER look down on my love like this again. 

Oikawa: How could you think I just MADE these feeling up for you because I'm sick. 

Oikawa: YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE! 

Iwa-chan: Wait Oikawa seriously. This isn't the time for this 

Oikawa: SHUT UP! 

Iwa-chan: I- 

Oikawa: NO YOU LISTEN TO ME YOU IDIOT

Oikawa: I. LOVE. YOU. 

Oikawa: I have loved you long before this cold and will continue to for the rest of my life 

Iwa-chan: Please Oikawa. Please stop this hurts so damn bad. 

Oikawa: No. I'll keep telling you until you believe me. 

Oikawa: I love you Hajime Iwaizumi. 

Oikawa: Don't go offline now Iwa. 

Oikawa: DAMMIT YOU IDIOT JUST LOVE ME BACK 

\--------------------------  
Strong Tops who are in love with our best friends but can't do anything because they are straight 😠  
3:17 PM 

Iwa-chan: *Sent screenshots* 

Semi: Woah. Iwa what the fuck? 

Bokuto: Bro what are you doing? He's confessing? 

Kuroo: ...Holy shit 

Sakusa: I assume there is a valid reason why you are tearing Oikawa's heart out of his chest? 

Iwa-chan: FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK 

Iwa-chan: HE'S FUCKING SICK HE HAS NO IDEA WHAT HE'S TALKING ABOUT 

Osamu: IDK he seemed pretty clear minded. I mean, he didn't text like he was sick

Ushijima: You are what people call, an idiot Iwaizumi. 

Lev: Woah Oikawa sounded so sad 😟

Kageyama: How did he sound sad? All that was over text. 

Iwa-chan: LOOK- 

Iwa-chan: When he gets better he'll forget all about this. I don't want to take advantage of him like this 

Matsukawa: UGH JUST CONFESS BACK YOU IDIOT

Asahi: It seemed like he really loves you Iwa. 

Kindaichi: WHY ARE YOU BOTH SO DUMB JUST TALK TO HIM

Kogane: You don't want to hurt him by taking advantage of him, but it really seems like he is in pain right now 

Sachirou: Don't leave him on read. Talk this out. 

Daichi: Don't be dumb man, go get yourself a man. 

Iizuna: Woah that's the second confession this week 

Terushima: Coincidence? I think NOT 

Tsukishima: I hate to say this, but they're right. Go talk to Oikawa and figure this out. He could actually love you. 

Iwa-chan: ... Okay. 

Iwa-chan: I'll confess to him then and see if he really means what he said. 

Semi: That's more like it 

Sakusa: I hate this chat. 

\-------------------------------  
Iwaizumi and Oikawa  
3:26 PM 

Oikawa: I love you. 

Oikawa: I love you. 

Oikawa: I love you. 

Oikawa: I love you. 

Iwa-chan: Okay...

Oikawa: Oh are you back? I love you. 

Iwa-chan: Hold on please let me talk now 

Oikawa: If it's to reject me then keep quiet because I don't want to hear it. 

Iwa-chan: No. Ugh just shut up

Oikawa: Fine. 

Iwa-chan: If you really mean it and this isn't you sick texting...I'm sorry. 

Oikawa: Oh? Do you believe me now? YOU IDIOT I LOVE YOU

Iwa-chan: I LOVE YOU TOO 

Oikawa: I- 

Oikawa: Again. 

Iwa-chan: Huh? 

Oikawa: Say it again. 

Iwa-chan: I love you. 

Oikawa: Again. 

Iwa-chan: I love you. 

Oikawa: Again. 

Iwa-chan: I love you. 

Oikawa: Again. 

Iwa-chan: Okay I love you Tooru Oikawa and want to spend the rest of my life with you because you're the only person I have ever wanted to marry. 

Oikawa: IWA-CHAN

Iwa-chan: I love you, I love you, I love you so please don't just be sick because I can't take it. 

Iwa-chan: I don't really remember the moment I fell in love with you, I think there wasn't a specific time. 

Iwa-chan: I think I just knew that you were the one. Maybe I'm being too sappy, but I always felt like my heart was yours. 

Oikawa: IWA-CHAN YOU'RE SO CUUUUTE 

Iwa-chan: You're crying. 

Oikawa: SHUT UP AND COME OVER 

Iwa-chan: Turn around stupid. I've been here from the beginning. 

Oikawa: I- I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I DESERVE CUDDLES FOR WHAT YOU JUST DID TO ME 

Iwa-chan: I love you 

Oikawa: I love you more

Iwa-chan: ...I love you so fucking much 

Oikawa: I LOVE YOU MORE THAN THAT 

Iwa-chan: I LOVE YOU SO MUCH THAT MY HEART FEELS LIKE IT'S ABOUT TO EXPLODE BECAUSE YOU'RE FINALLY MINE AND I'M SO HAPPY 

Oikawa: lol no I'm not

Iwa-chan: Huh? 

Oikawa: I'm still single because no one has ever asked me out ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

Iwa-chan: You little shit. 

Iwa-chan: Be my boyfriend. 

Oikawa: Okay 😍

\------------------------------  
Beautiful bottoms who are in love with our best friends but can't make a move because they all have lovers 😭  
3:42 PM 

Oikawa: *Sent screenshots* 

Shirabu: Woah the beginning. 

Akaashi: That looked super tense. 

Kenma: The ending was so cute though ❤️

Atsumu: Good. I was about to kill someone. 

Suna: I can't believe he thought you were doing it because you were sick

Tendou: AHHHHHHHHH I WAS SO SCARED 😭😭

Yaku: Same 

Hinata: YOU WERE SO COOL OIKAWA!! 

Hanamaki: I never would have thought I'd see the day when OIKAWA tells IWAIZUMI to shut up 😂😂

Noya: Today history was made. 

Kunimi: Lol I think I had a heart attack. 

Tendou: GOOD JOB BAE THAT MUST HAVE BEEN SO SCARY 😭😭

Hoshiumi: Any confession is scary honestly. 

Suga: Look who finally joined the boyfriend squad. 

Komori: You're welcome (◍•ᴗ•◍)❤

Daishou: Lucky bastards. 

Yamaguchi: Don't hate. Go confess and you can join us. Until then you can't sit with us 💅

Oikawa: Periodt 💅😂

Shirabu: Fuck all of you. 

Akaashi: I feel slightly less happy for you now Oikawa. 

Kenma: Don't be jealous Akaashi. You know you're my boo thing ❤️

Akaashi: ❤️

Atsumu: That part where you made him say I love you over and over 😂

Suna: This chat has the best blackmail. 

Tendou: I- WHAT HAPPENS IN THIS CHAT STAYS IN THIS CHAT 

Yaku: I thought that only worked for Vegas. 

Hinata: I can't wait to go home 😭

Hanamaki: Idk what you mean this is awesome. 

Noya: OIKAWA YOU SHOULD BE HERE RIGHT NOW EVERYTHING'S GOING CRAZY!! 

Kunimi: Please help us before we go to prison. 

Hoshiumi: I'M TOO YOUNG AND BEAUTIFUL TO GO TO PRISON 😭😭

Suga: I thought we weren't going to say anything and deal with it ourselves? 

Komori: NEW PLAN, PANIC LIKE HELL AND MAKE OIKAWA DEAL WITH IT 

Daishou: This is a good plan. I like this plan more than the other one. 

Yamaguchi: Yeah good plan, EXCEPT HE ISN'T HERE IN VEGAS WITH US YOU IDIOTS 

Oikawa: WOAH WTF IS GOING ON OVER THERE!?!? 

Shirabu: Goshiki's gone. 

Oikawa: WHAT!? WHERE THE FUCK IS HE!? 

Akaashi: I have a tattoo. 

Oikawa: UM!? 

Kenma: I took these dudes on at this game and won all their money. So now I'm rich and have scary people after me. 

Oikawa: WHAT IT THIS!? HOW DID YOU ALL MANAGE TO DO THIS IT'S BEEN A DAY!? 

Atsumu: I have a baby now. 

Oikawa: ...

Suna: I'm married. 

Tendou: I signed a contract with a modeling agency. Idk when I did that we were all REALLY drunk. 

Yaku: There's a tiger in my bedroom. 

Hinata: AHHH I HATE IT HERE 😭😭

Hanamaki: I think I stole a car. 

Noya: I was with him when he stole the car 😂

Kunimi: Someone save us. 

Hoshiumi: MY HAIR IS RAINBOW. COLORED. I CAN'T WASH IT OUT AND IF I DYE IT AGAIN I'LL KILL MY HAIR

Suga: So maybe coming to Vegas wasn't a great idea. Apparently I owe a club a couple hundred million bucks 😂

Komori: I went to jail. Idk when I was released but I went to jail. 

Daishou: I think we may have killed somebody. 

Yamaguchi: I failed Tsuki. I had one job and completely failed it. 

Shirabu: So yeah, we're going to prison. 

Akaashi: How do I get a tattoo off? 

Kenma: Someone please don't let me die. 

Atsumu: Where did Oikawa go? 

Oikawa: I just texted Iwa-chan. Guess who's coming to pick your dumbasses up again! 

Tendou: Oh no. Our crushes are coming huh. 

Yaku: Lev is going to murder me before the tiger does. 

Oikawa: When I get there we will deal with this. After that, you all are FORBIDDEN from leaving the country again. 

Suna: This really did become some Hangover shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now we get into the Las Vegas arc. If you've seen The Hangover them you know this is going to be a wild, wild ride. 
> 
> WHERE DID GOSHIKI GO!?
> 
> Follow me on Twitter @IsHaikyuu for sneak peeks of future chapters/stories I'm writing/ect.
> 
> If you have Discord friend me @Dadchi #2660 I accept literally everyone 😂


	8. How to burn Vegas down, bottoms style ✨

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oikawa deals with the bottoms. Aka the appearance of Mamakawa and Daddy Iwa 🤤

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If I don't update for a week please don't assume this is discontinued. My brain isn't in the best state right now and writing this is like therapy for me. I never discontinue a story, if I start something I see to it till the end. 
> 
> Sorry for this serious note, now back to the crack 😂😂
> 
> Follow me on Twitter @IsHaikyuu for sneak peeks of future chapters/stories I'm writing/ect.
> 
> If you have Discord friend me @Dadchi #2660 I accept literally everyone 😂

Stop blowing up that chat I'm trying to sleep  
2:35 PM 

Oikawa: You all listen, and listen good. I'm not bonding your dumbasses out of jail. 

Iwa-chan: Wow I can't believe you guys are actually this dumb. 

Shirabu: Hey. It's not my fault Goshiki's missing. 

Semi: YOU'RE HIS SENPAI YOU SHOULD HAVE KEPT AN EYE ON HIM YOU IDIOT

Shirabu: DON'T CALL ME AN IDIOT YOU ASSHOLE 

Semi: Do. Not. Test. Me. Right. Now. I'll actually beat the shit out of you. 

Shirabu: 🙄

Akaashi: I didn't do anything illegal. Now how do you get a tattoo off, YouTube is telling me to use toothpaste? 

Bokuto: IS IT A COOL TATTOO AKAASHI

Akaashi: I think it should have been a mushroom??? But it looks like a penis, so no. 

Bokuto: AHAHAHA HAHAHAHA

Akaashi: Do not laugh at me Bokuto-san. 

Bokuto: I'M SORRY AKAASHI I JUST REALLY WANT TO SEE THAT TATTOO 

Akaashi: Never. I'll get a new tattoo over it if I have to. 

Kenma: Kuro I'm scared. 

Kuroo: It's okay baby, I'm on my way. They can't get you in Japan. 

Kenma: Get me out of this place, I don't want to die. 

Kuroo: I'M COMING BABY 😭😭

Atsumu: I need to find this babies parents 😂

Sakusa: Good job 'Tsumu. Go to another country and start stealing children, real smart. 

Atsumu: In my defense, I was drunk. 

Sakusa: I'm sure that'll work in court, "I'm sorry judge, I stole this child intoxicated." 

Atsumu: ...That does sound pretty bad. 

Sakusa: you're a troublesome idiot Atsumu. 

Suna: I can't leave my wife 

Osamu: Did you actually have a whole ass wedding in the span of 24 hours? 

Suna: Idk. I just woke up and this chick was calling me her husband 

Osamu: Do you like her? 

Suna: lmao no. The next time she tries to kiss me I'm throwing hands

Osamu: As you should 💅

Suna: Gross never do that again. 

Osamu: Agreed. 

Tendou: I know what you're about to say Ushi. And you are absolutely correct. 

Ushijima: You are unfit to take care of the first years. 

Tendou: Yeah. 

Ushijima: You are irresponsible and now it has got you all in trouble. 

Tendou: ...Yeah

Ushijima: When we sort this out, you will not go on trips like this again. 

Tendou: You don't have to tell me twice, I'm done with traveling the world for now

Ushijima: Good. 

Yaku: I think the tiger wants to eat me. 

Lev: YAKU STAY AWAY FROM IT 😭😭

Yaku: It kinda reminds me of Lev. Huge and loud. 

Lev: ?? Why does that sound so sexual?? 

Yaku: ... Nevermind I'm going to go hang out in the tigers mouth. 

Lev: YAKU NO I'M SORRY!! PLEASE STAY AWAY FROM THE TIGER YOU COULD GET REALLY HURT 

Yaku: Lev I don't plan on going into my room anytime soon. I'm not an idiot. 

Lev: Actually, I think only an idiot gets a real tiger in their room. Where did that even come from, please don't tell me you raided a zoo. 

Yaku: I- SHUT UP LEV 

Hinata: I didn't even do anything, I just want to go home 😭

Kageyama: Don't get involved with these idiots, stay far away from them before you catch more of their stupidity. 

Hinata: MORE!? BAKAGEYAMA I'M NOT STUPID YOU ARE 

Kageyama: I'M NOT THE ONE IN VEGAS SURROUNDED BY TIGERS AND CRIMINALS AM I!? 

Hinata: I- fair point... 

Hanamaki: Hey I'm not a criminal! It doesn't count if I don't remember stealing the car

Matsukawa: Is it a nice car? 

Hanamaki: Oh yeah. It's one of those rich kid sports cars 😂😂🤤

Matsukawa: Nice. 

Hanamaki: I don't want to give it back 😭

Matsukawa: I know but you have too 😭

Noya: But do we have too??? 

Asahi: Yes. 

Noya: Okay but listen, we keep the car- 

Asahi: No. 

Noya: BUT ASAHI IT'S SO COOL 😭😭😭😭😭

Asahi: I said no. 

Noya: Asahi seems mad 🤤

Asahi: Extremely. Noya how could you steal a car? 

Noya: idk I bet I was awesome though 😂

Asahi: Or you looked like a lowlife thief that drove away with someone else's car. 

Noya: ...Ouch 😭

Asahi: ...I'm sorry. Just please don't keep the car 

Noya: ...Fine 😞

Kunimi: I just sit back and observe 👀🍵

Kindaichi: Thank god you didn't do anything, but then again, you are too lazy to do anything. 

Kunimi: Exactly. Nothing bad can happen if you do nothing 🤷

Kindaichi: ...that's not a very good way to look at life but in this case, I'm glad. 

Kunimi: lol

Kogane: I'M SO WORRIED

Kogane: WHAT IF HE'S HURT OR SCARED OR UNDERGROUND IN A CELL WITH 3 OTHER MEN WHO HAVE BEEN MISSING FOR YEARS AND THEY GET SCRAPS TO EAT EVERYDAY 

Hoshiumi: OH NO THAT WOULD BE TERRIBLE 😭😭

Sachirou: I don't know why that was so specific but that is most likely not the case. 

Kogane: Do you promise?

Sachirou: Yes. 

Hoshiumi: Well if Sachirou says it, it must be true. 

Suga: How much do you think I'll get if I sell an organ? 

Daichi: Let's not sell our body parts. We'll talk this out with the club when I get there, there has to be a mistake 

Suga: Well if it comes down to it, I can lose some organs. 

Daichi: ... You have an odd fascination with selling your organs

Suga: Yolo. 

Daichi: Oh god. 

Komori: do you think this will go on my record? 

Iizuna: why did you even go to jail? 

Komori: lol bold to assume I remember jack about yesterday. 

Iizuna: then how do you know you went to jail? 

Komori: I woke up in a jail uniform. 

Lizuna: Oh-

Komori: Orange is not my color 🤢🤮

Daishou: I wonder if Vegas is a good place to hide a body 

Terushima: Please tell me you didn't actually kill somebody 

Daishou: Well I was curious about the car and opened the trunk. I'm going to assume he's dead because he wasn't breathing. 

Terushima: What if the people who owned the car killed him- 

Daishou: unlikely. He was wearing my clothes. 

Terushima: What the fuck- 

Yamaguchi: I'm sorry Tsuki. 

Tsukishima: Actually, no one could have controlled these people. No need to apologise Yams. 

Yamaguchi: But I was sober 😭

Tsukishima: Where were you when they all ran rabid? 

Yamaguchi: ... Locked in the bathroom. 

Tsukishima: So you weren't responsible for their actions, seeing as they locked you in the bathroom just to leave. 

Shirabu: Yeah...sorry about that. 

Semi: Holy shit he's apologizing. 

Shirabu: Yeah well, if we kept Yams around none of this would have happened. 

Semi: Exactly, you dumbass. 

Shirabu: Fuck you. 

Oikawa: enough fighting. This is what you're going to do. Shirabu, go out with Hinata, Kunimi and Hoshiumi and retrace your steps as best as you can 

Shirabu: Whatever. Goshiki's probably at some ice cream shop. 

Oikawa: then go look there 🙃

Kunimi: Do I have too? 

Oikawa: Yes or you're running laps everyday until you drop. 

Kunimi: ...Fine. 

Hoshiumi: I WILL PUT MY ALL INTO FINDING HIM

Hinata: ME TOO ME TOO 

Oikawa: Good. Now go. 

Shirabu: Ugh. 

Semi: Get on with it little doggy. 

Shirabu: I WISH I COULD THROW A KNIFE AT YOU 

Oikawa: NEXT 

Semi: 🤐

Oikawa: Akaashi, you can't get a tattoo off. You're going to have to get a new one over the penis. 

Akaashi: Please rephrase that, I'm shuddering at the image. 

Oikawa: lol. Not over YOUR penis. Over the tattoo. 

Bokuto: Make it something cool! Like a shark! 

Akaashi: Sure. 

Oikawa: Kenma. Stay in the hotel until we get there. Make sure you are always around people. You will be safe when you get back to Japan. 

Kenma: Stay inside and play video games? Done and done. Hang around people, disgusting. 

Kuroo: Just do it kitten, I don't want anything to happen to you when you're alone. 

Kenma: ...fine. 

Oikawa: Atsumu, take that kid to the police station and say you found it alone at the park. 

Atsumu: ...I kinda like him though. Can I keep him? 

Sakusa: No. 

Oikawa: No. 

Atsumu: 😞 fine. 

Oikawa: Suna, talk to this woman and ask her why the hell she's calling you her husband. I know you wouldn't marry a woman while you're in love with someone else. 

Osamu: You're in love with someone? 

Suna: Yeah. Yeah I am. Okay I'll do that Oinks. 

Oikawa: Tendou. Good for you sis, signing with a modeling agency!? That's great for you 😍

Tendou: AND THAT'S ON WHAT??? 

Oikawa: PERIODT SIS 💅

Tendou: Hell yeah 💅

Ushijima: But you are going to have to re-sign. You live in Japan, not America. 

Tendou: Oh yeah 😂

Oikawa: ANYWAYS. YAKU! Check the news about a missing tiger. I'm sure people are panicking about a wild tiger roaming the city. 

Yaku: ...I should have thought of that. 

Lev: This is what I mean when I said you were an idiot. 

Yaku: FUCK YOU LEV YOU WOULDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO IN THIS SITUATION EITHER

Lev: I WOULDN'T BE IN THAT SITUATION IN THE FIRST PLACE 

Yaku: UGH. 

Oikawa: I SAID STOP FUCKING FIGHTING 

Lev: 🤐

Yaku: 🙄🤐

Iwa-chan: That's my man 🤤

Oikawa: Always baby 😘

Akaashi: Disgusting.

Oikawa: Hanamaki, go put that car where you found it. Noya you too, you can't keep it. 

Hanamaki: 😞

Matsukawa: 😂

Noya: 😞

Asahi: 😓

Oikawa: Enough of that. Suga talk to that club and figure out what the hell you did. It really should be a mistake. 

Suga: I will, I will. Besides I'm not old enough to enter a club 🤷

Daichi: Exactly. 

Oikawa: Komori call the jail and figure out why you went. It's probably not as bad as you think. 

Komori: Yes Mamakawa. 

Iizuna: Go do it idiot. 

Komori: Yes Mamazuna. 

Oikawa: Shut up. Daishou...you're going to prison, there is no helping you. 

Daishou: Shit. 

Oikawa: That's what you get for killing somebody 😒

Daishou: I'm just going to assume he deserved me killing him. 

Oikawa: Don't lie to yourself. Now the rest of us will be there soon. Text us when you learn something new. 

Kenma: He is such a mom. 

Iwa-chan: That's my mommy 🤤

Tendou: I-

Akaashi: Disgusting. 

\----------------------------------

Stop blowing up that chat I'm trying to sleep  
3:17 PM 

Daishou: THIS BITCH ISN'T DEAD 

Oikawa: What happened? 

Daishou: I OPENED THE TRUNK TO CHECK ON HIM AND HE BEAT ME WITH A CROWBAR. WHEN I WAS DEAD ON THE GROUND, THIS BASTARD PEED ON ME AND RAN

Oikawa: 😂😂😂

Tendou: 😂😂😂

Atsumu: 😂😂😂

Daishou: I TOLD YOU HE DESERVED ME KILLING HIM! I'M HUNTING THAT BASTARD DOWN AND TAKING HIS BALLS 

Akaashi: Disgusting. 

Daishou: FUCK ALL OF YOU 

\-----------------------------

Stop blowing up that chat I'm trying to sleep  
3:31 PM 

Akaashi: I got my new tattoo. It's a skull since it sorta had the shape of the... mushroom. 

Bokuto: THAT'S SO HOT!! 

Akaashi: ...Thank you. 

Oikawa: Now never show that at school. 

Akaashi: Noted. 

Kenma: I'm getting annoyed. 

Kuroo: Are you stuck on your game? 

Kenma: No. This is the THIRD time I've had a red dot on my head. STOP TRYING TO ASSASSINATE ME YOU COWARDS 

Kuroo: HOLY SHIT BABY STAY DOWN AND AWAY FROM THE WINDOWS WE'RE ALMOST THERE 

Kenma: That's so contradictory. Spends tons of money to murder someone who won tons of money. They just lost more money 🙄

Oikawa: THAT'S SO SCARY KENMA STAY DOWN 

Kenma: Yeah yeah. 

\-------------------------------

Stop blowing up that chat I'm trying to sleep  
3:42 PM 

Atsumu: The police are looking at me weird. I'm scared. 

Sakusa: It's what you deserve. 

Atsumu: I'M NOT A KIDNAPPER 

Sakusa: You stole a kid. That's a kidnapper. 

Oikawa: Just drop the baby off and leave .

Atsumu: No what if something happens to him!? I'll stay here until his parents get here. 

Sakusa: I hope the mom hits you with her purse. 

Atsumu: R U D E 

Oikawa: It's what you deserve 🤷

\-------------------------------

Stop blowing up that chat I'm trying to sleep  
3:53 PM 

Suna: Good news. I'm not married. 

Osamu: Good. 

Suna: yeah. 

Oikawa: what happened? 

Suna: She was a crazy stalker chick who I had to call the police on before she stabbed me 

Osamu: That's not so good. 

Oikawa: What the fuck is wrong with people in Vegas- 

Shirabu: She said, if I can't have you no one can 👿🔪

Oikawa: I don't want to see you text until you find Goshiki. 

Shirabu: Why am I being punished for that idiots actions? 

Oikawa: He is your underclassmen. You should have watched over him. 

Shirabu: Fuck you. 

Iwa-chan: 🙃

Semi: Texts sent seconds before death. 

Shirabu: Ugh. Fine I'll look for him some more. 

Oikawa: 😊

\--------------------------

Stop blowing up that chat I'm trying to sleep  
4:01 PM 

Tendou: I resigned. It has been a good long 24 hours, but it is time for me to put my career behind me 😞

Ushijima: Thank you. 

Tendou: Anything for you Ushi 😘

Ushijima: I will do anything for you as well

Tendou: Really 😳

Ushijima: Yes. You are my best friend. 

Tendou: 😭

Oikawa: This really is sad to watch. 

Iwa-chan: Agreed. 

Kuroo: Ushijima you're so dumb. 

Ushijima: So I've been told. 

Yaku: Shit. 

Lev: YAKU 

Oikawa: That's not a good sounding shit. 

Iwa-chan: Is there ever a good sounding shit? 

Akaashi: Disgusting. 

Yaku: Well there is one missing tiger. 

Yaku: And the owner is a multimillionaire actor. 

Oikawa: Shit. 

Lev: Shit. 

Iwa-chan: Definitely a bad shit. 

Yaku: If I tell him I have his tiger do you think he'll pull a Kenma? 

Kenma: A what? 

Yaku: An assassination attempt. 

Kenma: Oh. Fuck you. 

Yaku: Not now. 

Kuroo: WHAT!? 

Yaku: Kuroo shut up I'm about to be killed. 

Kenma: Assassination buddies. 

Yaku: Assassination buddies. 

Oikawa: Well at least you didn't steal it from a zoo. 

Yaku: I wish I did. 

\---------------------------------

Stop blowing up that chat I'm trying to sleep  
4:11 PM

Hanamaki: We pulled some Grand Theft Auto shit

Noya: In reverse! 

Hanamaki: Some Auto Theft Grand 😂

Noya: 😂

Asahi: So you put the car back. 

Matsukawa: Way to take the fun out of it

Oikawa: Good job. How did you do it? 

Hanamaki: lol we just drove the car into this nice neighborhood and jumped out, where it stopped is up to fate 🙏

Noya: 🙏

Oikawa: What the fuck. 

Hanamaki: Don't look at us in the tone of voice. You should be congratulating us for not crashing the car! 

Noya: We had no idea how to drive 😂

Iwa-chan: Out of sight, out of mind. It's someone else's problem now. 

Hanamaki: ^

Noya: ^^ 

Matsukawa: ^^^

Asahi: You are terrible influences. 

\-------------------------------

Stop blowing up that chat I'm trying to sleep  
4:27 PM

Suga: I talked to the club and it's all sorted out 👌

Daichi: Good. 

Suga: I am officially debt free 

Oikawa: Finally something went right! 

Akaashi: Hey! 

Oikawa: Don't hey me, in the end you still have a tattoo. 

Akaashi: True. 

Bokuto: YOUR TATTOO IS AWESOME AKAASHI DON'T LISTEN TO HIM

Akaashi: Thank you Bokuto-san. 

Suga: Hey back to me and how much more responsible I am 😠

Daichi: You have a missing kid. 

Suga: And I take full responsibility for that 🤷

Daichi: ...I have no words. 

Oikawa: Go look for him to then, if you're so responsible. 

Suga: Ok ok see you later 😋

Komori: Speaking of which. I talked to the jail 

Iizuna: Oh? 

Komori: Apparently I was running through the city naked 😂 

Iizuna: Sounds like something you'd do. 

Komori: lol yeah, so I don't have a record or anything. 

Oikawa: YAY! 

Iwa-chan: Look at how things are turning around.

Oikawa: Except for Daishou 😂

Iwa-chan: I can't wait until he texts again 😂

Komori: I can't tell if you two are parents or demon spawns 👿

Oikawa: Yes. 

Iwa-chan: 😂

\----------------------------

Stop blowing up that chat I'm trying to sleep  
5:18 PM 

Oikawa: We are here. 

Kenma: Thank God 

Yaku: Someone please take this tiger.

Shirabu: We found Goshiki 

Oikawa: OH THANK GOD 

Kogane: YOU DID!? 

Shirabu: No 😂

Shirabu: He's probably dead somewhere like Daishou is. 

Oikawa: Fuck you Shirabu. 

Kogane: I'm leaving to look for him. 

Semi: You're such a little shit. 

Ushijima: You will be running more laps when we get back home. 

Shirabu: UGH 

Daishou: I'm not dead. 

Oikawa: Oho?? What's happening? 

Daishou: This dude led me on a wild goose chase. Now I'm on top of a building and this bitch just jumped off. 

Oikawa: HE DID WHAT

Daishou: It's fine. He had a parachute or something. I hate him so much. 

Shirabu: I think you should be more worried about Daishou's situation. 

Oikawa: lol nah he could go die 😂

Daishou: what happened to being besties

Daishou: What happened to respect and trust 

Oikawa: Trust doesn't exist in this world ☠️

Tendou: We still love you though. 

Atsumu: Yeah, we wouldn't be complete without you so try not to fall off that building

Daishou: Oh right. About that, I'm stuck. 

Terushima: On the building? 

Daishou: Yee. I climbed up here and now I can't get down. 

Terushima: I'm calling the police. 

Daishou: Wait don't do that. There's a pool below me 

Oikawa: Don't you do it. 

Daishou: I'm doing it. 

Iwa-chan: This isn't an action movie man, don't do it. 

Daishou: I'm doing it. 

Terushima: DON'T DO IT 

Daishou: I dhid itx 

Oikawa: Well he's dead. 

Shirabu: This feels like deja vu. 

Akaashi: Disgusting. 

Oikawa: STOP SAYING THAT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Akaashi "Disgusting" Keiji everyone. 👏👏👏👏
> 
> Next chapter: What happened to Goshiki!? 
> 
> Will Daishou survive jumping from a 10 story building?? 
> 
> Seriously, don't do this, the bottoms are just dumb 😂😂😂
> 
> Follow me on Twitter @IsHaikyuu for sneak peeks of future chapters/stories I'm writing/ect.
> 
> If you have Discord friend me @Dadchi #2660 I accept literally everyone 😂


	9. That bitch HAS POINTY TEETH

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Vegas arc comes to a close and Yaku takes people spines.
> 
> (I deleted chapter 8 and lost all of your amazing comments 😭😭 Just know I read and appreciated every single one, they actually made me tear up 😍😭 They will forever remain treasured in my Gmail!)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woah this is really late 😭 I'M SORRY PLEASE TAKE THIS MAIN CHAPTER AND THE FEW AFTER IT AS AN APOLOGY 💖♥️💖♥️

Stop blowing up that chat I'm trying to sleep  
5:28 PM 

Osamu added: Kita Shinsuke to the group chat

Atsumu: Brother- WHY!? 

Suna: Lmao you better behave now Atsumu 😂

Kita: Why am I here? 

Osamu: Oh right, so say we're missing someone and no one can find him. And someone just jumped off a building and is probably dead 

Kita: This is mildly disturbing. 

Osamu: Yeah, so what would you do? 

Oikawa: Smart, I forgot to add Kita 

Akaashi: Hello Kita-san. 👋😗

Kita added: Ojiro Aran to the group chat 

Kita: I'm not dealing with this alone. 

Aran: Hello? Atsumu, Osamu and Suna? You're in this chat? Hope you're having fun in Vegas 

Osamu: Nah

Atsumu: It's cool 

Kenma: It's hell. 

Suna: I'm having fun. 

Osamu: You literally just dealt with a psychopathic chick who thought you two were married 

Suna: It's been interesting. 

Tendou: America's wild 😂

Yaku: It's filled with deadly beasts 

Lev: No it isn't! You're the only person alive who accidentally gets a TIGER in your room 

Yaku: LEV I'LL TAKE YOUR FUCKING SPINE 

Lev: NO I NEED THAT- 

Hinata: It's very scary here Aran-san!! 

Hanamaki: Actually it's awesome. Wish I could have kept that car 

Noya: It would have been hard to smuggle on to the plane though 

Hanamaki: Oooooh you're right. 

Matsukawa: It's alright, you can just snatch a car in Japan 

Asahi: You absolutely will not be stealing any more cars. 

Hanamaki: Boo! 😭

Noya: Yes dad 

Kunimi: I want my bed 

Kindaichi: Me too 

Kunimi: Huh- 

Kindaichi: I WANT MY BED TOO- 

Kuroo: Smooth 😹

Kindaichi: I'll shave you bald 

Kuroo: HAAAAAAAAH 

Suga: Oh hello Kita! Are you still coming to our weekly coffee meet up? 

Kita: I wouldn't miss it. I have plenty of stupidity to rant to you about. 

Atsumu: Huh? Who's stupid? 

Osamu: I think he's talking about you bro 

Atsumu: HUH!? HE'S OBVIOUSLY TALKING ABOUT YOU 

Sakusa: He's talking about both of you idiots. 

Suna: Definitely. 

Atsumu: OMI-KUN 😭😭

Osamu: Wow Suna 

Komori: Aran went awfully quiet 

Yamaguchi: He's probably in shock 

Aran: I'm choosing to ignore half of that. I'm happy some of you are having fun 

Iwa-chan: Oi Daishou are you okay? 

Semi: Yeah he hasn't answered in a while 

Bokuto: DAI-DAI WHERE ARE YOOOOOOOU

Kuroo: One thing I absolutely know about that sneaky snek, is that he always has something up his sleeve 🐍

Ushijima: I believe you spelled snake wrong Kuroo. 

Kuroo: I KNOW- UGH HE'S SO DENSE 😔

Ushijima: Oh I understand now. Snek is a shorter, more humorous way to say snake. You were making a joke. 

Kuroo: He just explained- 

Lev: Woah Ushijima's so smart! 

Kageyama: Thank you. I didn't understand his joke either 

Sachirou: We're going off topic. 

Daichi: Extremely. It went from a possible death to talking about snakes. 

Iizuna: It's amazing how simple minded these people are. Y'all were distracted so easily 😂

Terushima: HEY DAISHOU IF YOU'RE DEAD I'M KILLING YOU 

Tsukishima: This chat is so dumb, please at least try not to fry that one braincell all of you are sharing. 

Oikawa: HEY 

Iwa-chan: Well he's not wrong.

Shirabu: I felt a disturbance. Who's insulting me? 

Semi: It's crazy, but it isn't me this time! 

Akaashi: I'm not dumb Tsukishima-san. 

Bokuto: YEAH! What's a braincell? 

Kenma: I'm not a part of this. 

Kuroo: TSUKKI HOW MEAN 😢

Tsukishima: Don't call me that 

Atsumu: The only dumb one here is Osamu 

Osamu: The only dumb one here is Atsumu

Atsumu: HUH!? 

Osamu: Don't copy me

Atsumu: I SAID IT FIRST 

Sakusa: These two burnt their part of the braincell as soon as they left the womb. 

Suna: Bold of you to assume they had a part of it in the first place 

Atsumu: OI

Osamu: OI- STOP COPYING ME

Tendou: That's enough from you 2. Also, I HAVE MY OWN BRAINCELL THANK YOU VERY MUCH 

Ushijima: The average human has about 100 billion braincells. If you only have one Tendou you are in serious trouble. 

Tendou: I- the fact that he just KNEW how many braincells people have 😭😍

Yaku: Next person that calls me dumb is losing their knee skin. 

Lev: Knee skin- 

Hinata: DON'T BE MEAN SALTYSHIMA!! I AM MORE SMARTER THEN THAT 

Kageyama: No you're not 

Hanamaki: We got off track again 😂😂

Matsukawa: Daishou and Goshiki are just out there dead and we're like HeY i hAvE oNe wHolE brAinCelL 

Noya: I forgot that Goshiki was gone- 😂

Asahi: We are terrible people. 

Kunimi: Isn't Kogane looking for him now? 

Kindaichi: I feel like we all should be actually

Kunimi: I can't I'm sleeping 

Kindaichi: You're literally texting right now 

Kunimi: Sleep texting 

Hoshiumi: Maybe we should @ Daishou until he answers! 

Sachirou: So we spam him? 

Hoshiumi: Oh we spam the shit out of him 😂

Suga: Bet 

Daichi: Suga no- 

Komori: I like this plan 

Iizuna: Well if he's dead at least he'll have 800 notifications on his phone 😂

Yamaguchi: I'm only doing this because I'm worried about him 

Tsukishima: I just want to annoy him. 

Shirabu: Wait let me mute FIRST- 

Oikawa: @Sneaky_snek 

Iwa-chan: @Sneaky_snek 

Semi: @Sneaky_snek 

Akaashi: @Sneaky_snek 

Bokuto: @Sneaky_snek 

Kenma: I'm not doing this

Kuroo: @Sneaky_snek GET YOU FUGLY BUTT ONLINE 🤡

Atsumu: @Sneaky_snek 

Sakusa: You're all so annoying 

Suna: @Sneaky_snek 

Osamu: @Sneaky_snek 

Tendou: @Sneaky_snek 

Ushijima: @Sneaky_snek 

Yaku: @Sneaky_snek GET HERE SO THEY'LL STOP ALREADY 

Lev: @Sneaky_snek 

Hinata: @Sneaky_snek 

Kageyama: I don't know how to do that 🖕

Hanamaki: @Sneaky_snek @Sneaky_snek @Sneaky_snek @Sneaky_snek @Sneaky_snek 

Matsukawa: @Sneaky_snek @Sneaky_snek @Sneaky_snek @Sneaky_snek @Sneaky_snek @Sneaky_snek @Sneaky_snek @Sneaky_snek @Sneaky_snek @Sneaky_snek

Noya: @Sneaky_snek @Sneaky_snek @Sneaky_snek @Sneaky_snek @Sneaky_snek @Sneaky_snek @Sneaky_snek @Sneaky_snek @Sneaky_snek @Sneaky_snek @Sneaky_snek @Sneaky_snek @Sneaky_snek @Sneaky_snek @Sneaky_snek @Sneaky_snek @Sneaky_snek @Sneaky_snek @Sneaky_snek @Sneaky_snek

Asahi: His poor phone- 

Kunimi: Lmao I can't wait until he gets online 

Kindaichi: @Sneaky_snek 

Hoshiumi: @Sneaky_snek 

Sachirou: @Sneaky_snek 

Suga: Should we @ Goshiki too? 

Daichi: I'm getting a headache from this. Enough @ 

Komori: Finnnne

Iizuna: His @ is so lame- 😂

Daishou: The fuck you say about my @???? 

Yamaguchi: HE'S ALIVE 😭♥️

Tsukishima: Woooo. 

Oikawa: DAISHOU WHERE WERE YOU

Iwa-chan: So you didn't jump off the building? 

Shirabu: Damn 

Semi: Shut up and find Goshiki 

Shirabu: 🖕

Daishou: I said that there was a pool below me. Like, on the balcony below me 

Terushima: ....You little shit 

Akaashi: You made it sound like you were jumping from the building 

Daishou: Lmao nah I'm not that dumb unlike that asshole 

Kenma: Can we just find Goshiki and leave now? 

Kuroo: Yeah my baby is still kinda trying to be assassinated 😭

Yaku: AND THE TIGER 

Atsumu: The babies parents still ain't here!

Oikawa: Kita I'll need you for this 

Kita: I'm here.

Aran: Unfortunately we're both here 

Oikawa: Atsumu all you need to do is hand the baby over and you're done 

Atsumu: I know! 

Kita: Yaku you'll need to sneak that tiger back to it's home and chain it up. 

Yaku: That means I'll have to get near it. I don't know if you know, but THAT BITCH HAS A LOT OF SHARP TEETH 

Lev: Yaku curses to much 

Yaku: That's it. I'm killing you Lev. 

Lev: NOOOOO YAKU I'M SORRY 

Kita: I back read. If it belongs to an actor it should be trained. It will be fine 

Yaku: Fine. BUT IF IT BITES ME I'M BITING IT BACK 

Kenma: Just hurry up. I want to go back home now 

Kuroo: WE ARRIVED AT THE HOTEL I'M HERE BABY 😻😻😻

Kenma: Woo. 

Hoshiumi: Are we all just going to ignore my rainbow hair problem?¿ MY HAIR IS SILVER HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO FIX THIS 

Sachirou: We'll have to find more dye the same shade as your hair 

Hoshiumi: Good luck 😂 my hair color isn't exactly normal 

Suga: Oi 

Semi: Silver is perfectly normal 

Sachirou: Sure. 

Oikawa: Text us when you're done! We'll be looking for Goshiki in the meantime 

Atsumu: K 

Yaku: Whatever 

Kenma: No. 

____________________

Stop blowing up that chat I'm trying to sleep  
5:47 PM 

Yaku: SHIT 

Oikawa: We said this before. That doesn't sound like a good shit 😬

Yaku: IT'S NOT 

Iwa-chan: What's up? 

Yaku: LEV'S UP 

Kenma: Huh- 

Kuroo: What about Lev 

Yaku: HE FOLLOWED ME AND SET OFF AN ALARM 

Akaashi: Woah this place has alarms? 

Yaku: OF COURSE IT DOES WHY WOULDN'T IT!? A RICH, POPULAR ACTORS HOUSE? THIS PLACE IS MORE OF A WALL THEN DATE TECH 

Asahi: I don't appreciate this comparison

Lev: YAKU I'M SOOOOOOOORRY 

Yaku: You can apologize when we're DEAD 

Tsukishima: Lmaoooooooo 😂

Yamaguchi: Tsukki no! 

Yaku: SCREW THIS I'M TYING THIS UP HERE AND WE'RE RUNNING 

Lev: YAKU THE ALARMS ARE SO LOOOOOOOUD 

Yaku: SHUT UP AND RUN YOU IDIOT 

Suna: Why does this sound like a really bad attempt at robbery 😂

Aran: Like those robbers from Home Alone 

Kita: I will never understand these American movies. 

\----------------------------

Stop blowing up that chat I'm trying to sleep  
6:12 PM 

Atsumu: Good news! The parents are here to pick the baby up! 

Sakusa: Good 

Oikawa: About time! 

Iwa-chan: Why do I hear a but? 

Atsumu: BUUUUUUUT the mother chased me 3 blocks and sprayed me with pepper spray 💀

Osamu: LMAOOOOOO 

Suna: I wish I was there to record that 

Atsumu: IT'S NOT FUNNY MY EYES AND SKIN BURNS

Sakusa: When you get back I'll start a bath for you 

Atsumu: Omi- thank you 💖

Sakusa: Hmm 

Shirabu: Why can't you ever be that nice to me Semi? 

Semi: Why can't you ever do your job and find Goshiki? 

Shirabu: .......Fair 

___________________

Stop blowing up that chat I'm trying to sleep  
6:26 PM 

Yaku: GET TO THE AIRPORT RIGHT NOW WE'RE LEAVING 

Lev: A H H H H H H H H H H H 

Shirabu: I FOUND HIM 

Semi: WAIT REALLY!?

Oikawa: ENOUGH CAPS 

Goshiki: Hi guys! 

Kogane: SHIKI 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Goshiki: KOGANE 😭😭😭😭😭😭

Hinata: Where were you? 

Hanamaki: Yeah we thought you died 

Noya: Are you okay? 

Goshiki: I fell asleep at a park. When I woke up my phone was dead and I had no idea what our hotel was called so I just sat there 😔

Shirabu: He was crying when I found him 

Goshiki: SHIRABU-SAN YOU PROMISED NOT TO TELL!

Shirabu: You've caused me a lot of trouble recently. Let me be mean dammit. 

Kunimi: So about Yaku and Lev- 

Kindaichi: They seem to be in a....BIG TIME RUSH 😂😂😂

Akaashi: I hate you 

Kenma: That was so bad oh god let me be assassinated 

Suna: I'm leaving this chat 

Kunimi: I don't know you anymore Kindaichi 

Kindaichi: Lol the opportunity was too perfect 

Yaku: EVERYONE SHUT UP AND GO 

Lev: WE'LL MEET YOU THERE 

Oikawa: Yeah it's about time we leave 

Iwa-chan: I'll grab your stuff babe 

Oikawa: Babe- GUYS IWA CALLED ME BABE- 💖😍💝💘💓

Yaku: NO ONE FUCKING CARES 

Kita: Watch your profanity. 

Yaku: Ugh you're right I'm sorry 

Shirabu: Let's just go already. I never unpacked. 

Semi: I'm not carrying all that 

Shirabu: Shut up I don't need your help

Akaashi: I'll call the desk to get us a few cars 

Bokuto: AKAASHI'S SO SMART 

Akaashi: Thank you Bokuto-san. 

Kenma: Kuro give me your hoodie. I need to hide 

Kuroo: Boyfriend hoodie- THAT'S SO CUUUUUTE 😭😍😭😭😍😭😍

Kenma: Shut up 

Atsumu: I'll take that bath at home Omi-kun! 

Sakusa: Fine 

Atsumu: Will you still prepare it 

Sakusa: No 

Atsumu: 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Suna: Well it's been interesting I guess 

Osamu: I'm glad you had fun. 

Suna: I'd much rather go home now though

Osamu: Same. 

Tendou: Good bye my wonderful modeling career 😭

Ushijima: I am sure you can get a career in Japan. If not, they do not see just how beautiful you are. 

Tendou: Ushi- 

Ushijima: You're my best friend. 

Tendou: STOP SAYING THAT 😭😭😭😭😭

Hinata: LET'S GO BAKAGEYAMA 

Kageyama: NO YOU LET'S GO I'M ALREADY GONE 

Hinata: HAAAAAAH!? WELL I WAS GONE YESTERDAY 

Kageyama: You little- 

Hanamaki: We didn't even get to hit up the casinos 😢

Matsukawa: We're all only 18. We wouldn't have been allowed in anyways 😂😂😂

Noya: BOO 😠

Asahi: I'm sorry Noya, but even if you were of age you'd probably still be turned down 

Noya: I- IT'S BECAUSE OF MY HEIGHT HUH

Asahi: 🏃💨💨

Noya: DON'T RUN FROM ME 

Kunimi: I'm never leaving my bed again 

Kindaichi: Same 

Kunimi: Huh- 

Kindaichi: I'M NEVER LEAVING MY BED AGAIN 

Kuroo: BRO THAT ISN'T SMOOTH I WAS BEING SARCASTIC 

Kunimi: I'm choosing to ignore this due to exhaustion. 

Goshiki: I can't wait to go home! I was so cold 😭

Kogane: I- YOU CAN WARE MY JACKET 

Goshiki: You're probably not going to get it back 

Kogane: It's fine! You can keep it 

Hoshiumi: I'm going to a salon when we get back 

Sachirou: I tried to find dye your color. It's really difficult. 

Suga: Yeah that's why I don't dye my hair 😂

Semi: It was a pain when I had to dye mine neon pink 

Daichi: Suga with pink hair- 

Suga: No♥️

Komori: If anyone asks, I never went to jail. 

Iizuna: I suddenly have selective memory 

Komori: 🤫

Daishou: I can't believe I'm letting that ass go

Terushima: Be the bigger man and shit 

Daishou: HE BEAT ME WITH A CROWBAR 

Terushima: And he's trying to fly a parachute in Vegas. He'll probably get ran over when he lands 

Daishou: Hmm....fine. 

Yamaguchi: You two scare me. 

Tsukishima: Honestly, same. 

Kita: Just get ready and come home. 

Aran: Yeah we're waiting for you! 

Goshiki: We're on our way! 

Yaku: SHUT UP AND LET'S GO WE'RE BEING HUNTED 

Lev: A H H H H H H H H H H H H H H 

__________________

Stop blowing up that chat I'm trying to sleep  
3:09 AM 

Oikawa: Finally home 😭

Iwa-chan: I'm tired. Oikawa I'm staying over 

Oikawa: BET 😍

Shirabu: I'm never leaving the country again 

Semi: No other country could handle you. 

Shirabu: True. 

Akaashi: Looks like I'm wearing long sleeves for the rest of my life. 

Bokuto: YOUR SKULL IS SUPER COOL!

Akaashi: So are you 

Bokuto: HUH- 

Akaashi: Goodnight guys. 

Bokuto: AGAAASHEEEEE

Kenma: I can't believe I'm happy to be alive 

Kuroo: I'm happy that you're happy to be alive 😻

Kenma: You're a dork 

Kuroo: A dork thats bed you're sleeping in 😘

Kenma: Shut up 

Atsumu: My body hurts so bad 😭

Sakusa: .... I'll make you a bath but I'll have to stay the night. 

Atsumu: YES PLEASE 

Suna: Osamu I'm coming over too 

Osamu: Nice 

Tendou: Ushi will you stay over? 

Ushijima: If that is what you want Satori. 

Yaku: I hate all cats now. 

Lev: NO YOU DON'T YOU'RE IN NEKOMA 

Yaku: Maybe I'll follow your lead and join Shiratorizawa. 

Lev: I SAID I DIDN'T MEAN IT YAKUUUUUU

Hinata: I can't wait to play volleyball with the team! 

Kageyama: You better be ready to hit all of my tosses. 

Hinata: You know I'm always ready 

Kageyama: Yeah. 

Hanamaki: I have to go to bed now Mattsun, but I wish you were in it with me 😉

Matsukawa: Bro, I'm so happy we started this 😂

Hanamaki: Broooooo 

Noya: Goodnight Asahi! 

Asahi: Goodnight Noya. Please don't cause anymore trouble, my heart can't take it 

Noya: I'll do anything for your heart 

Asahi: Huh- 

Noya: NIGHT! 

Kunimi: If you want to come over Kindaichi you can. 

Kindaichi: I- who said I wanted to come over 

Kuroo: YOU'RE NOT AS SMOOTH AS YOU THINK YOU ARE 

Kindaichi: UGH. Yes I would love to come over 

Kunimi: Cool. 

Goshiki: Thank you for the jacket Kogane! 💖♥️

Kogane: You're welcome! I'll see you next time! 

Goshiki: Have a safe train ride 

Kogane: Of course! 

Hoshiumi: Come with me later Sachirou 

Sachirou: We'll get your hair color back, I promise. 

Hoshiumi: Well if Sachirou says it then it must be true 💖

Sachirou: Only when it comes to you 

Hoshiumi: I- THAT'S SO CUUUUUTE 😭😭😭😭

Suga: Daichi stay at my place 😋

Daichi: Sure, your place is closer to school anyways 

Suga: WOOT WOOT 

Komori: My eyes hurt so bad 😂 goodnight guys

Iizuna: Goodnight Komori. Sleep well 

Komori: You too 

Daishou: Teru get out of my house 

Terushima: Nah I'm tired. Your stop was closer 

Daishou: Then go sleep in the doghouse! 

Terushima: Shh can't hear you I'm sleeping 

Daishou: OI NOT ON MY BED 

Yamaguchi: Tsukki 

Tsukishima: Please come over. 

Yamaguchi: TSUKKI!! 💖💖♥️

Tsukishima: ...♥️

Kita: I think I hate this chat. 

Aran: I'm so tired and I wasn't even there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yaku put a quarter in the swear jar! Lmaooo I stole some of this from the family Haikyuu discord I'm in 😂😂 So if you're here from that and you see something familiar, you gave me great ideas!


	10. Incorrect Haikyuu #1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The title explains it all 😂

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to do something fun! Memes are obviously the answer 😂
> 
> Just some funny jokes I found in the dark abyss of the internet

Atsumu: I don't want to do this, but I do know one way we could get money 

Suna: You'd make a decent prostitute 

Atsumu: I'd make an amazing prostitute 

Sakusa: No. 

_____________

Shirabu: Hey Semi, you know who's gay? 

Semi: Me

Shirabu: YOU-! Wait what? Since when? Hit me the fuck up what the hell. Why haven't you tried to bang me yet? I'm fucking offended. 

_____________

Kindaichi: WOAH, why are your tongues purple? 

Iwa-chan: No idea, I had a blue slushie. 

Oikawa: And I had a red. 

_____________

Kunimi: Oikawa is the worst. 

Someone else who's not from Seijou: I know right 

Kunimi: You've just been unfriended, unfollowed, blocked, ignored, my mom's calling your mom and you're not invited to my teen queen sweet sixteen summer beach bash birthday party. 

_______________

Matsukawa: Do you realize that we never stop tasting our tongues? 

Hanamaki: How about I taste yours for a change. 

Matsukawa: You smooth fucker 

_______________

Atsumu: Hey, will you get something out of my back pocket for me? 

Sakusa: What am I getting out of it?

Atsumu: A chance to feel my ass. 

_______________

Oikawa: You know Iwa-chan, I'm really jealous of you. 

Iwa-chan: Why? 

Oikawa: Because your boyfriend is hotter than mine. 

Iwa-chan: But you're my- 

Oikawa: 🏃💨💨💨💨💨

Iwa-chan: COME BACK HERE YOU LITTLE SHIT!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to do more of these! Not a lot, this is still a text story

**Author's Note:**

> Did I create this because I've been reading way too many chat fics? Yes. I hope you enjoy this because the bottoms sure aren't 😂
> 
> Follow me on Twitter @IsHaikyuu for sneak peeks of future chapters/stories I'm writing/ect.
> 
> If you have Discord friend me @Dadchi #2660 I accept literally everyone 😂


End file.
